Zombie mask is an incredibly risky, but hilarious sex act in which the man receives a blow job, and when he reaches the point of orgasm he pulls his penis out of his partner’s mouth, and ejaculates into both eyes. This renders the partner partially blind, thus creating a zombie-like effect as the partner wanders around the room moaning and groaning as they try to find their way to the bathroom to clean up.
The zombie mask is not a technique that anyone should try with a long-term partner, or someone you care about. It is a special circumstances type of sex act, that usually either involves a lot of alcohol in a foreign country where you’ll never see each other again, or the payment of a large sum of money to a prostitute. If you attempt the zombie mask on a girlfriend, wife, or partner, you are bound to end up single. Or, even worse, they perform the zombie reversal, which is when the partner reacts instinctively out of anger, blindly biting your penis as they fly into a fit of rage on their knees.
The Zombie has only been around for a few years, being invented by the author and zombie fanatic, Max Brooks, who wrote The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead. Apparently, during the writing of this book, Max became so infatuated with zombies, particularly female zombies, that he developed a bit of a fetish. Naturally, even he had to admit that zombies didn’t actually exist, and that his ultimate fantasy of receiving a hummer from a brain-hungry, gaping-mouthed female zombie slut would never be achieved. Max went into a deep and dark depression at the realization of developing a sexual fetish that could never be quenched, locking himself in a cheap motel for months as he attempted to finish writing the book. One night, after hiring a hooker from the local bar to give him a blow job in his hotel room, Max had an epiphany as his hooker sat on her knees with his dick in her mouth. Moments later, when he was ready to cum, to the hooker’s surprise Max pulled his cock out at the last second and squirted directly into both of her eyes. The result was exactly what Max had hoped for; a zombie mask. The prostitute was so upset that he had to pay her double the rate for a regular blow job. From the on, the term gained popularity, especially among prostitutes who were willing to receive a zombie mask as long as their pay was doubled. Before long, prostitutes all across North America were finding extra ways to make the zombie experience a little more satisfying for zombie-fetishes. They doused themselves in white make-up to give the appearance of pale flesh and neglected to cover-up the herpes and meth sores on their faces, which luckily for them, looked a lot like the scabs and leprosy-like wounds on zombie’s faces.
As an off shoot, similar sex acts began to develop, such as the Cyclops, the one-eyed pirate, and the African Rhino, in which the male ejaculates all over the nose of their sexual partner, giving the appearance of a white horn.
1. When I gave my girlfriend a Zombie Mask, she didn’t get mad at all. Instead, she got rich by setting up an Ad on craigslist with a call out to Zombie-fetishers.
2. Leanne loved getting the Zombie Mask, but she had no idea that’s what it was called. She just liked getting defiled and degraded by men.
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