Zipper Sex is not to be confused with the racist slur for fucking a prostitute during the Vietnam War. That is extremely offensive, and something entirely different. The real meaning of zipper sex is only offensive to the tips of penises, and the bottom of people’s chins.
Zipper sex refers to anyone who gives or receives oral sex without taking off the person’s pants first. It can come in various forms, some more pleasant for the man than others. If the pants are still on and the penis is still tucked safely inside, then the woman is performing a type of zipper sex known as ‘Tarping,” dubbed so because to the man, it’s like having a thick piece of tarp draped over your cock while you masturbate; you feel absolutely nothing but painful friction and the onset of blue balls!
A more enjoyable form of zipper sex for the man is unfortunately not so enjoyable for the woman, or person giving the blowjob. This involves the man taking his penis out, unzipping his fly part way but leaving his pants on as the woman gives him a blowjob on her knees. If she’s any kind of decent deep throater, she’ll end up having zipper imprints practically burned into the bottom of her chin, known as “train tracks.” This can be extremely painful, but believe it or not some teenage girls actually wear them with pride and often compete on Friday night movie dates to see how many different sets of train tracks they can get in a single film.
The final type of zipper sex that exists, which is absolutely pointless unless you’re a severe masochist, actually involves zipper/penis friction. The woman breaks open the zipper on the man’s jeans right in the center, leaving the top and bottom of the zipper still tightly closed. When the man gets an erection, she pulls his cock out of the center hole and gives him a blowjob as she jerks him off. The motion from her hand causes the zipper to rub up and down on the man’s cock, creating burns and lacerations on the shaft that look a squirrel thought his dick was a piece of corn on the cob. I don’t recommend this to any man, unless your pain tolerance is extremely high, and you’re uncircumcised. If you don’t have that thick, protective sheathe that god gave us, then don’t even try it. You’ll end up looking and feeling like you’ve got a diced Portobello in your underwear.
1. When I was in high school, the girls in my class used to have zipper sex behind the bleachers at recess. I never got a single blowjob back then, because I was going through that terrible phase that hip hop kids go through where they never wear anything but baggy jogging pants and work boots that are always untied.
2. The first time Sara got her boyfriend to allow her to give him some zipper sex, she couldn’t believe how much blood came out of such a small organ. She also learned that he could be a screamer too.
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