A zeppelin is a very large tit. Two of them would be known as “zeppelins”. The term is based on the original zeppelin, which was a very large and hollow aircraft that was used in the early 1900s in wartime and later for passenger air transportation. Science really screwed up that invention though. They used hydrogen gas instead of helium, and the thing blew up, killing many people. Luckily, women’s zeppelins do not blow up and are normally not filled with flammable gases.

Zeppelins have a pretty strict guideline for size and scale. They are thirty percent bigger than a hooter; ten to twenty percent bigger than a knocker. And hundreds of  times larger than a mosquito bite or pancake on a nail. Zeppelins are normally quite firm to the touch, but in rare cases can be a little looser, based on weight and age. If one were to squeeze a zeppelin rather tightly, you would find finger imprints lasting for 30 to 90 seconds. Motorboating is a commonly practiced on zeppelins, which is a humming/spouting motion of the mouth while pressed between two large breasts: best with zeppelins.

Larger women tend to have zeppelins attached to them. This can be fairly unattractive, but at least gives you something to look at. With the wrong bra, the zeppelins truly take form, mimicking torpedoes or large Madonna tits. Nipples and areolas are usually massive on a zeppelin. Nipples can take on the size of a pencil eraser, including the metal part – one to one-and-a-half inches long. Areolas can reach the size of saucers or cork coasters, and are normally circular.

Zeppelins can be fake tits, too. They tend to have a different shape – more spherical than oval. They closely resemble a massive, frozen water balloon attached to the chest by some rubber bands around the base. In some botched jobs, these are extremely unattractive and very hard and tough to touch. Some men get off on that so, well, whatever.

Led Zeppelin is an English rock band from the early 60s to late 70s and are still on the charts today. It is rumored that the band preferred zeppelin tits and groupies were limited to D-cups and over. In all of Great Britain, it is especially necessary for girls to have zeppelins because of their normally hideous face and mouth. If tits are large enough to be zeppelins, they will take the focus away from the face and mouth. Standards are usually a lot lower overseas and the zeppelin takes on way more shapes, sizes, and textures. We don’t have time to get into that here, though.

Elderly zeppelins can get hang downwards and can get to about 4 to 5 feet in length. Some debate whether or not these can still be called zeppelins, as the flat shape and loose skin resemble anything but. The term is always at the discretion of the viewer or cat-caller.

Zeppelins come and zeppelins go. They are adored by many and envied by Asian girls. The happiest of men are those with two hands full of zeppelin tits, or a dick stuck between the two.

1.That waitress’ zeppelins almost poked out my eye when she turned around! I’ll tip her extra.

2. I used to have huge zeppelins in my twenties, but now they’re 6 o’clock sand bags.

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