To work up is a phrasal verb used to describe working up a sexual tension or desire, or to do something to make yourself or another person all hot and bothered. Essentially, it just means ‘to get horny,’ which is far easier for men than women.
For a man to get worked up, it could be something as simple as checking the mailbox and discovering the most recent issue of Sears catalogue has arrived, knowing full well that there will also be a brand new bra and panties section to spooge all over while you lock yourself in the bathroom. It could also be simple things from the local environment, such as sitting at the back of the streetcar on a Thursday night, watching all of the college girls in short skirts giggle and sway their drunken bodies from side to side on the way to the bar. That alone is enough to get some men ‘permafrost,’ which is a term used for a man’s permanently erect penis; an erection so stiff that it won’t go away until he somehow manages to blow his load (i.e. the thawing process).
Women, on the other hand, can be much more difficult to ‘work up.’ I once dated a girl who needed a full body massage, three hours of deep conversation about her “daddy issues,” and a 2 hour documentary on the Kingdom of the Wild. For some reason, she’d be as cold and dry as a speculum until the part where the male lion mounts the female lion, and then as soon as the cubs started digging into the bloody flesh of the baby zebra he caught, she’d be grinding her sopping wet vagina all over my face.
Another difficult thing about getting your sexual partner worked up is that you might not have any idea what type of fetishes they are into. For example, some men get extremely horny whenever they hear a female fart in public, yet they’re absolutely disgusted by the idea of anal sex and rim jobs. In Japan, there are hundreds of thousands of businessmen men who get off on the idea of pretty young school girls stomping on fish guts and baby squid in their bare feet, all while singing the American National Anthem. Even stranger, there is a large population of Swedish hipsters whose penises bulge and vaginas flutter at the mere mention of the phrase “IKEA Quickie.” I know what you’re thinking, but the term doesn’t actually refer to having a quick fuck inside an IKEA store. It actually refers to making a detour to the nearest IKEA outlet to do some rapid drive-by shopping, all while on the way home to have sex with their spouse.
Whatever tickles your genital, keep in mind that the weirder and more fucked up your fetishes are, the harder it will be for your partners to get you ‘worked up.’ If you’re into sea urchin foot stomping or Brand Name foreplay, then maybe you’ll have to get yourself worked up all on your own. Then, let your partner take over once you’re all revved up.
1. Nothing works me up more than a young attractive librarian adding up my late fees on a calculator. I once kept a copy of Of Mice and Men for two years, even though I already read it.
2. If you want to work up your boyfriend or husband, just tell them about all your past lovers by constantly referring to how much better and ‘bigger’ they are. Our penis is directly connected to our Egos, so increased blood flow to one organ means increased blood flow to another.
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