Click To Enlarge
Ah, the old fuck and chuck. We’ve all been there. Either on the receiving end or dolling it out. We’ve all had some kind of encounter where we end up out the door at the end, not necessarily on our asses, but close. I met this dude at a bar once. Well, I was dancing, already drunk on mixed drinks I’d had at a friend’s house earlier that night (we were too poor to buy drinks at the bar itself), and I was all whirling around being all sexy, or at least I was sure I was sexy, but in reality I probably looked like a total idiot, shaking my body and being all crazy with my dancing. Anyway, there was this decent looking guy dancing near me. He looked kind of like he could’ve been in the military, all closely cropped haircut and broad shoulders. He was a good dancer, I think. After a while we were clearly dancing together, grinding our bodies together. Then we were making out. Everything was all blurry and disjointed like some kind of stop-motion animation video, and after awhile I decided it was time, that I needed to go home with him before I lost my nerve, because alcohol only stays in the system for so long and I really wanted to a) get laid, and b) stick it to the guy I really wanted to be with at the time who was being all douchey and unsure about committing to me.
So we drove to his place, stopping only for condoms (glad we did that), and in reality I have no idea if he was driving us around the city totally loaded, or if he was actually sober, but I was definitely fucked up. We got to his place and his roommate and his roommate’s girlfriend were totally up and hanging out in the living room, so we decided to decrease the awkwardness of the fact that I was clearly there to fuck this dude and leave. So we had a beer at two in the morning with the roommate and girlfriend. We sat there for the appropriate half and hour and then finally excused ourselves, went to his bedroom and banged the night away, except I was still so drunk that I only remember bits and pieces. I think the sex was good though.
At five in the morning he went out for a cigarette and I left. As I was leaving I asked him for a cigarette, and he lit it for me and waved. It was about the most unromantic moment that ever existed and I wanted out of there. So I started walking, realizing I had no idea where I was and I ended up spending the rest of my bi-weekly going out money on a cab back to my apartment.
1. It was a total wham, bam, thank-you ma’am situation. I nailed her and then left. Then I ran into her at my cousin’s wedding. Turns out she’s my cousin too.
2. When he left, I rolled over and fell asleep. Wham, bam, thank-you ma’am, just like that.
RELATED TERMS: