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Much like a subway sandwich, veggie porn is porn containing no meat. Strictly lesbo-licious, this kind of porn omits the dick, leaving only the lady parts involved – in the flesh, that is. Use of plastic, silicone, and cucumbers as wangs are usually part of it. We sometimes refer to those apparatuses as the “tofu” or “veggie patty” of porn – that which is fake, yet still does the trick for those involved. Oh, and since you asked, a cucumber is scientifically classified as a fruit.
With the lack of the male member, veggie porn can be tame at times. You won’t find any hard poundings and thrusting. At times, lower-than-normal voices are audible due to the potentially high levels of female testosterone. “A little lower, baby”, but not quite Barry White.
V8 veggie porn is an interesting spin on lesbonic porn. It contains eight or more lesbonos that partake in a medley of fresh positions and maneuvers. The erotic mixture of flavors and spices make this a great combo with a couple shots of vodka and a stalk of celery at the end. *V8 fusion porn to come soon, with more of a fruity aftertaste.
It is commonly known that veggie porn has a wider range of attractive porn chicks involved. It is unclear at this time why this is, although there is speculation that the lower-than-average attractiveness of male porn stars is driving more attractive ladies to the veggie porn side of things. With more and more dudes showing heinous tattoos on their tramp-stamp mark, and general dufus-ness in their face, women are seeking out the hotness of each other rather than men.
It is appropriate that veggie porn has no “seed”. Vegetables, by nature, produce seeds yet it is uncommon that the seeds are eaten. What is eaten is the leaves, stems, or roots. On a woman this means that the munchable area includes the labia, clitoris, and beyond. And no reproduction is possible without the use of seed. Ah, nature!
Veggie porn has a vast collection of clever and memorable titles. “Debbie Does Salad”, “Dude, Where’s My Carrot?”, and “Vegetesbian III”. Chicks starring in veggie porn flicks need not be strict lesbos. In most cases they are bisexual, asexual, or unisexual and, like most of us, need to make a living.
There are many veggie porn recipes to choose from. Scenarios can take place in women’s locker rooms, wedding halls, and especially the pool-side venue. Plots are centered around teen angst issues, evil men and their dicks, and being bad to the point of necessary discipline. Bondage comes into play rarely but nipple-less leather bras are a hit amongst veggie-lovers.
Veggie-lovers need not stick to specialty pizza deals. There is a plethora of veggie porn available for purchase or download on almost all respectable porn sites and in porn shops. Simply request the meatless option next time you’re at the counter and you’ll be sure to find something vegetarian, healthy, and made from beans. Like hummus!
1. Tonight I’m ordering a veggie-lovers pizza to go with my veggie porn!
2. As a bi-curious female in university, Sally watched her share of veggie porn.
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