The term vart means a vagina fart. It’s an alternative term for queef, which most people have heard of. A woman varts because she’s had her pussy banged so hard that air gets trapped inside and needs to come back out. To vart, means to have a super hot time getting pounded in your vag. Like, really hot. Some women are embarrassed when they vart or queef, but you shouldn’t be. All it does is show how hot of a fuck you just had and your partner (male or female) will totally agree. There is no limit on the kind of noises your body can make and they should really be celebrated. Don’t be a stuck-up prude about it, just get into it and enjoy. It’s all kinds of hot business.
Okay, but yeah, it may not be first date bodily material or what you want to have happen during a one-night stand (even when you’re sure you’ll never see this dude or dyke again, and you don’t even know their name), but sometimes it does happen. Sometimes shit happens, but hopefully that’s less often (aka: never…unless you’re into scat, but that’s a whole other issue). So you varted. How do you deal with it. You grin. You continue looking sexy (how could you not?). You say, wow, my vag REALLY enjoyed your cock/fist/dildo/strap-on. We should definitely do this again sometime soon. You should run your tongue along your lips and without saying a word, start licking whatever cum is left on this dick, OR if he’s still hard (or hasn’t orgasmed yet) start blowing him. Or lick your pussy juice off that strap-on/dildo/fist. Whoever you’re with is going to see you as hot, confident, sexually open and ultimately incredibly sexy.
Mildly to hugely embarrassing things happen during sex all the time. You can have regular farts, not just varts. Some are known to gag hard-core when giving blowjobs and actually throwing up a little inside their mouths (or even throwing up on the dude’s cock…this happened to a friend of mine. Let this be a strict lesson: swamp water slurpees and oral sex DON’T mix, people).
1. Donny pulled out of Elizabeth and just as he was about to start licking her pussy, some strange suctioning noises erupted. He wrinkled his nose. Donny had been under the impression that Elizabeth was a polite girl. After all, she had been helping her father with his presidential campaign for weeks and continued to echo his efforts. But now here she was….varting…right in front of him! He grinned. Maybe he could get it in her ass and see if any santorum leaked out.
2. Varting is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s the direct result of getting a mad pounding from someone who’s super into you. Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re nasty. If they don’t like the reactions your body makes, they need to pull the stick out of their ass and get a cock in there instead, pronto.
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