Uxoravalent is a husband’s inability to have sex with his wife due to impotence, but who can pound any other woman’s pussy with a massive, erect man-hammer cock. After some initial research, I have discovered that just over 99% of men that have been married for more than ten years suffer from this terrible affliction. It is the opposite of being uxorovalent, which is the ability to only have sex with one’s wife. According to my research, no one has ever had this condition, ever, in the history of mankind.
For men who experience the pain of being uxoravalent, it can be embarrassing and emasculating. After all, there’s your wife, wanting a little of her hubby’s sausage, and little Mr. Happy refuses to co-operate. Maybe it’s because he’s been in that sloppy pussy for the past twenty years, and he can’t even feel it anymore. Maybe it’s because she left a huge stink in the bathroom before bed, and you had to smell it while you brushed your teeth. Maybe it’s because you just got home from fucking her sister.
Whatever the reason, there are some things you can do about it. First and foremost, there is the little blue wonder drug Viagra. Thanks to Viagra, more men have been giving their wives a good dicking than in any other period in history. Second thing your should do if you suffer from uxoravalence is get your wife into a gym and yoga classes. Get that fat ass of hers tight again, and improve her flexibility so that you can put her heels behind her head like when you first started fucking her in college.
Third thing you can do is try to spice up the sex life you have with your wife by incorporating some kinkiness. Start small, like dressing her up like a cheerleader or something. Work your way up to interracial gangbangs.
The last and easiest thing you can do is put some porn on the ‘ol laptop. Sometimes when I know I’m going to need some extra “incentive” during sex with my long-term girlfriend, I’ll throw some interracial gangbang porn on the laptop and focus on that. If you’re afraid your wife will get mad at you for watching porn while you’re fucking her, set the laptop up in another room, and hang a series of mirrors so that you can watch it without her knowing. Giving it to her doggy style or in reverse cowgirl style is when you can really focus on the porn.
You can also try couples swinging. There’s always somebody out there who will fuck your wife, and vise-versa.
The important thing to remember, if you are uxoravalent is that you are not alone. Nobody wants to fuck their wife after the three-thousandth time. Just try a few of the tips I have mentioned above, and get yourself a once-a-week whore that floats your boat.
1. Gus felt uxoravalent towards his wife. She told him it was ok because she had been fucking the poolboy for years.
2. Brad Pitt is not uxoravalent towards Angelina Jolie.
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