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Uncut is a slang term for an uncircumcised penis. In other words, a natural, normal cock that hasn’t been butchered by a ridiculous tradition from one or another ludicrous organized religion. With respect.
I was recently lamenting my own butchered penis while I was travelling to a local hardware store. I desperately needed a replacement part for my car so that I could travel to my mom’s funeral. The hardware store is owned by a religious fellow who, unknown to me or his shop’s website, closes his store on Sundays. I got to the hardware shop and found it to be closed, preventing me from repairing my car and getting to my mom’s funeral in time.
Again, because of a ludicrous and ridiculous rule passed down by organized religion: “Sundays are a day of rest.” If God exists, do you think his cosmic calendar has a seven-day “work week”? We earthlings have adopted a seven day week because of the time it takes for this particular planet to go around the sun. God, if he exists, lives in the whole universe (so they say). His “week” would be eons long.
I guess I could spend all day talking about the silliness of religious traditions. But instead, I will use the rest of my time to talk to all you prospective new parents out there. Don’t mangle your kid’s dick. Leave it be. It is perfect just the way it is. God, if he exists, doesn’t give a damn about your kid’s cock tip. And if he does, he’s a deranged perv.
Uncut is right. Uncut is normal. Uncut is cool. Uncut is unbelievable! Teach your kid how to bathe, and there is no reason to ever bring a knife near his precious peter.
Here endeth the lesson.
1. Ishmael was taking his first public shower after gym class in high school when he caught a glimpse of an uncut penis. It was the first time he had ever seen an uncircumcised cock. The dick in question belonged to his locker partner, a black teen named LaShawn. Ishmael wasn’t sure if he was staring because it looked so different than every other penis he had ever seen, or because it was three times as big as his own shlong. LaShawn was used to people staring at his huge cock, so he took it all in stride.2. Paul’s parents came up to him on his thirteenth birthday. They were a Jewish family, but had decided to wait until Paul was thirteen to talk about his uncut penis. They explained that circumcision was important to the Jewish identity, and their covenant with God. However, they wanted to wait until Paul could make the decision for himself. After an hour of explaining the importance of circumcision, they asked Paul if he wanted to get cut. Paul screamed, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Because that’s what every man would say if you waited until they could make up their own minds about it.
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