UFO is an abbreviation for Unbelievably Fantastic Orgasm. It’s quite common for men, because we’re easier to please, but women can also have them as well, especially lesbians.
UFO is the type of orgasm that makes you start to question the existence of God when you’ve been an atheist your entire life. It’s the kind of mind-blowing orgasm that forces you to throw out your brand new mattress, even if there was a protective, plastic cover on top while you were fucking. It usually produces the kind of ejaculation, both male and female, that could drown a Clydesdale horse while it was standing up, or make Sasha Grey actually quit the porno industry and start looking for another career.
UFO’s are almost as rare as Aliens, but the only difference is that they almost never happen in Texas. For women and men alike, they almost never happen from straight up vaginal penetration. For women, it only happens when a surprisingly skilled man sucks on her clitoris like it’s a miniature spoonful of heroine and they haven’t scored in days. Usually, after 45 minutes of mucking her out, the woman finally explodes, pushing his face back with her fire-hose of a squirt and ripping two giant chunks of hair out of his scalp. For some strange reason, when women tend to have a UFO experience, they usually end up a sobbing mess at the end, hugging you and crying all over the place about how much they love you, even if you were a one night stand and didn’t even know each other’s names. In fact, as a rule of thumb, the more the woman cries after sex, the better you are as a man in bed. Unless, of course, you’re a selfish lover who only likes to fuck doggie style with the lights off. Then, she’s crying for a completely different reason.
For men, a UFO comes about much quicker and usually involves the best deep throat blowjob of his life from a woman who could swallow an Anaconda without even drooling on it. That woman will devour his cock like a honey badger deep throating a Cobra, until he finally grabs onto her pig tails, screams like a pre-pubescent gamer losing at Star Craft, and holds her head down until he pops. Then, his entire body melts into the chair and he’s completely unconscious before she can even begin to spit or swallow.
1. The last time I had a UFO I slept for an entire week. When I woke up, Leanne was still trying to clean the cum off her face.
2. If you want to have a really good UFO, try to get your girlfriend to give you a blowjob as your looking through her family photo album. Just before you’re about to cum, turn to the hottest picture of her Mother in her Glory Years. Just never let her come up for air to see what you’re looking at. That doesn’t go over well with even the kinkiest of girls.
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