Turkey Slap, also known as a cock slap, is the act of lovingly slapping your sexual partner in the face with an erect or semi erect penis. It is usually done with a single, swift and meaty slap that has a distinct sound and is a bit of a showstopper, rather than multiple small slaps across the face like you see in porn.
The origin of the term turkey slap has two sources, both of which are European. First of all, in England another term for a man’s genitalia is ‘bird,’ and the other origin story dates back to the first thanksgiving dinner, so it makes perfect sense that a cock slap would use the turkey for its name.
During the original meeting of Europeans and Indigenous people at Plymouth in the 1600’s, the story most of us hear is that Europeans had a fantastic harvest, and were kind and generous enough to share some of their bounty with the natives of the area. Thus, both groups sat down at a giant table like a Sunday Dinner from that terrible TV show, 7th Heaven, and then everyone ate merrily. Well, historians today are starting to realize that’s not even close to what actually occurred.
In fact, the plentiful bounty of corn, wheat, and vegetables that was reportedly the European’s ‘fruitful harvest’ actually belonged to the indigenous peoples. Apparently, the indigenous people were planning a giant feast the following morning, but when they woke up the Europeans were already sitting at the table with all of their crops harvested, cooked, and prepared on the table. When the native leader approached the European leader at the table and asked him why he stole all of their crops and food, the European leader whipped out his cock, and slapped him one hard, swift thrust across the face with his semi-erect penis. Immediately afterward, the Europeans ate their turkey, mashed potatoes, and vegetables, while the natives got nothing but the stuffing, which was the bread crumbs that got shoved up the Turkey’s ass before roasting.
That also brings us to the origin of the word, “getting stuffed,” which in the porno industry means getting a dick shoved down your throat, ass, or vagina. Well, on this historic thanksgiving day, the indigenous people of North America decided to fight back against the thieving Europeans for stealing all their food and leaving them with nothing but the bread crumbs. In a daring act of rebellion, the native leader grabbed the back of the European leader’s head as he was about to mow down on some turkey, and shoved his cock down his throat, paying him back for the turkey slap and the food stealing, and creating a thanksgiving tradition of serving stuffing, and a porno term that would make its way to the internet sex dictionaries nearly 400 years later. And that, my friends, is the true story of Thanksgiving.
1. I tried to give my wife a turkey slap last night, but I forgot that she’s America. She doesn’t celebrate for another month, so really, I just gave her a cock slap.
2. If you’re going to Turkey Slap someone, make sure you have a decent erection. If you’re flaccid, you’ll get absolutely no power, and it’ll sound like a piece of pasta hitting the kitchen floor.
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