A Transvestite is a heterosexual man who wears traditionally feminine clothing.
More commonly described as a cross-dresser, it is am important distinction to note that the person is not gay, they just like wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. Most cabarets or drag-clubs feature shows that have cross-dressers performing songs or dances or acts while in drag. The stars of these shows are known as drag-queens.
I always thought that drag queens should be what you call women who win at drag racing, but there you go.
I remember my cousin Randy was a big homophobe for the longest time. Then, one Halloween he dressed up as a mermaid. Everyone loved it. They squeezed his fake boobs and he planted huge lipstick kisses on everyone. After that, we couldn’t get him out of his seashell bra. He wears it under his clothing everyday of his life. He’s no longer a homophobe, because he recognizes that we all have our preferences, and no one is right or wrong.
Power to the people!
1. Kathy came home early from work one afternoon and found her high-school aged son, Pete, wearing one of her bikinis and masturbating in the family hot tub. She gasped and nearly fainted, and Pete was mortified. He jumped out of the tub and ran into his room, locking the door behind him. Kathy composed herself and knocked on the door. Pete opened the door, now wearing his jeans and a t-shirt. They sat down, and through some calm, honest communication, Kathy realized that her son was a transvestite. She was fairly religious, despite being only a Christmas and Easter Catholic, so the news that her son wasn’t gay was a relief. She told him that he was welcome to wear any of her clothing except for her Louis Vuitton pantsuit. She also recommended that he move out of their small town after graduation, and go where he might find a community of like-minded transvestites that he could find solace with. Pete told her that she shouldn’t be homophobic, and admitted that for the past year and a half, he had pranced around the house in her Louis Vuitton pantsuit at least five times a week. Kathy ran up to her closet. She had been waiting to wear that pantsuit until the right job interview came around. When she put it on, it had been stretched all to hell, especially in the crotch. Pete, unfortunately for the pantsuit, had a huge, bulging package. Kathy was furious, but by the time she had come downstairs, found that Pete had taken the family car and driven off. When she heard from him next, it had been over three years since that afternoon, and he was a notary public living in Montreal. By then, she had forgiven him for everything, and just wanted to have her son back in her life. He sent her a ticket and she came to Montreal to visit him. She ended up staying in Montreal, opening up a poutinery, and marrying Roch Voisine’s accountant.
2. A boy goes up to his father. “Daddy, what’s a transvestite?” “Go ask your mom,” the father replies. “HE should be able to explain it better.” ZING!
RELATED TERMS: