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The Menthol is the act of receiving oral sex from someone who has recently eaten several cough drops or Altoid mints.
To be honest, I’ve always been a fan of the regular blowjob, and why you have to try to improve it with gimmicks like a mint, I’ll never understand. It’s like when Pamela Anderson got her breast implants. Pamela, you were already gorgeous. Now you’re just a cartoon. Don’t get me wrong – I’d love to motorboat that woman until doomsday, but you know what I’m saying – leave well enough alone.
On the positive side of the menthol, when the woman is done blowing you, your cock and balls smell minty fresh, instead of all dank and sweaty. Plus, if she likes to swallow, the semen would taste like peppermint. That would be OK every now and then, but not too much. It’s like that once-a-year time around St. Patrick’s Day when you can get a shamrock shake at McDonald’s. You’d get sick of them if you had them all the time, but once a year, they’re fucking awesome.
Yes, I am comparing the menthol blowjob and minty man-milk the woman would receive to the shamrock shake. That’s the glory of language, my friends. The magic of poetry.
Ladies, for a real thrill, try stuffing a jalapeño pepper up a guy’s ass while you blow him. You’ll hear noises and see faces that you’ve never seen before. Plus, he’ll understand what it means to have a tender asshole after sex, just like you do.
For all the women out there who are really interested in adding something to the blowjob that would actually be good, consider learning to deep-throat. It might seem difficult at first, because it is a natural reflex to gag when something like a cock slides down your gullet. But believe me: anyone can do it. It’s just a matter of feeling the gag reflex, but suppressing your reaction to it. I’ve had many girlfriends that have learned how to do it with me, and it is amazing. Who knows – maybe it’ll be the thing that makes him finally propose to you. Or, if you’re already married, maybe it’ll be the thing that stops him from fucking all the sluts at work.
1. John’s wife Doris had terrible breath and wouldn’t ever give him blowjobs. For their tenth wedding anniversary, she told him she’d give him some head, but he told her to give him the menthol instead. That way, her breath would smell better too. While she was blowing him, he farted a silent fart in her face without warning her it was coming. When the smell hit her, she was very angry, and stormed out of the bedroom. Her anger was the real present for ol’ John.
2. Harry didn’t know what Lana meant when she whispered that she was going to give him the menthol when he drove her home. He thought she meant a menthol cigarette, but when she started blowing him, he suddenly understood. “What a babysitter!” he silently thought to himself.
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