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Ta Tas is a slang term for breasts. Obviously it is not the only slang term for breasts. Some of my other favorites include: sweater pumpkins, casaba cushions, and daddy’s pillows.
You know who has great ta tas? Aspen Stevens. Big, real, and firm. That’s the stuff.
Men everywhere go crazy for ta tas, and so do some women. However, there are some places on earth that don’t sexualize tits at all. Take the Himba, a group of people who live in Northern Namibia. The women there go topless all the time, and their tits are out for everyone to see. But the Himba don’t care. The Himba don’t give a shit. The only thing a Himba woman wears is beaded jewelry around their ankles to protect themselves from snake bites.
Unlike the unique views of the Himba, ta tas are definitely a sexualized body part in Western Civilization. Granted, they are fun to play with and suck on. When they jiggle as women run or jump or aerobicize, it is pretty fucking awesome. And then there’s the titty fucking. That’s always fun.
However, I should point out that big ta tas aren’t the only kind of great tits. Every size has its appeal. I once dated a woman with little, almost no tits at all. Even though I couldn’t tit fuck her, they were still fun to suck on. Plus, she doesn’t have to worry about significant saggage when she gets older.
Ah, saggage. The dark side of ta tas. As women age, gravity pulls their boobs down. And thanks to push-up bras, you have no idea of a woman’s real saggage until she’s back at your place and takes off her top and lingerie. That’s why the Himba have it right. No deception. What you see is what she’s got.
The only way to consistently be with a woman with big, full, firm, tits is to date a woman until she turns 25. Then dump her, and find a new 20 year old. Repeat indefinitely, or until you fall in “love”. By “love”, I mean find one that is really rich and will be your sugar mama. Then, when her tits get all saggy and gross, spend her money at your daily visits to the strip club.
To be fair, guys experience saggage too. My balls are already a full inch lower than they were ten years ago. At this rate, I’ll have knee-knockers by the time I’m in my grave. Damn you, gravity!
1. Michelle was a lonely, unpopular girl during her sixteenth year. No one wanted to talk with her, and she was severely depressed. Over the summer, puberty hit her square in the chest, and she returned to high school a seventeen year old beauty with full D-Cup ta tas. From the first hour of class, until her graduation, there wasn’t a boy or male teacher who wasn’t willing to do anything to talk with her in hopes that she’d let them at her world-class boobs. Isn’t society wonderful?
2. “I like ta tas with puffy nipples.” -Albert Einstein
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