Snatch is a slang word for the female vagina, and it’s extremely fitting if you think about it. If you use the definition of snatch meaning to grab or trap, then it fits perfectly with the vagina, which grabs and traps penises all the time.
The use of snatch for female genitalia is also appropriate for men who seem to have their manhood and independence literally snatched away by a new girlfriend or love interest. We’ve all got those male friends who used to drink beer, tell crude jokes, and talk about porn in an excited, emphatically horny way. Then, suddenly they don’t show up at the bar on regular billiards night. Next, they’ve neglected to change the rosters on their fantasy football team. Soon, they stop answering your calls and change their voicemail message from fart noises and belching, to an excessively polite request to leave a message with full contact details if they want to get a hold of said friend, and his new “life partner,” “Ariel.” Suddenly, it finally starts to sink in to everyone in the group. Your friend’s testicles have been snatched by a succubus and you may never get him back again. Even if he does eventually come wandering back after a severe break up with his domineering, testosterone draining girlfriend, he’ll never be the same. All you’ll get is a broken shell of a man and the shadow of what your beer-funneling best friend used to be.
Now, you’re probably wondering what you can do if your friend is trapped in a girl’s snatch. Well, there is really only one possible solution, and it only works half the time. Buy a keg of your friend’s favourite beer, the one that he can never really afford but always talks about. Hold a giant party with all his guy friends, a flat screen tv, and all the hottest girls you can find. Next, hire the hottest stripper or prostitute you can find, and pay her to pretend to be a “friend of a friend” who happened to get an invite to the party. Then, she does absolutely everything she can to sleep with him. And when I say hot girl, I mean a girl he could NEVER pick up in real life, even if he was hung like a horse and made six figures.
The next morning, your friend will either be the happiest, freest man alive, bragging endlessly to everyone how he nailed the hottest chick at the party, or he’ll be attending an early morning Yoga or Soap making class with his succubus, evidently having thwarted every possible temptation the night before. In the later case, your friend is gone, so you might as well have an Irish Wake in his honour and get plastered.
Snatch is also appropriately used for vagina, because its something men all over the world search ravenously for, like the hit movie Snatch, only it’s a diamond they are seeking. Come to think of it, if you simply replaced the diamond for a female vagina, the movie Snatch and American Pie would be the exact same film! (minus the British and vaguely Irish-Scottish accents).
1. The only bad thing about always sleeping with virgins, is that my dick almost always gets stuck in their snatch. Or it won’t fit inside in the first place.
2. Leanne has one of the largest, smelliest snatches I’ve ever seen. But, I’m a sucker for a sure thing, and I don’t really mind getting my hands dirty.
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