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Slut is normally used as a pejorative term for a sexually promiscuous woman. Also known as a whore, skank, prostitute, or Leanne, a slut is a woman who likes to have sex often, with many different people, in many different ways. The difference between a slut and a nymphomaniac or female sex addict is that the later can still have preferences or standards. A slut, however, will fuck anything or anyone, regardless of appearance, hygiene, stature, or even familial bloodlines.
This is not to say that Sluts are all bad. On the contrary, sluts have been providing young men and even young women with ample opportunities to lose their virginity, experiment with a member of the same sex, snort lines of cocaine off a supple breast, and even make your first amateur adult film. In fact, sluts are an integral part of society. They make the average person feel completely at ease with their own sexual perversions, and often act as a type of sexual surrogate, providing an eager and willing body for the execution of nearly every fetish known to mankind. Sure, sluts carry diseases, wreck homes, and distract us from our daily lives by flaunting their bodies all over the streets, but the benefits they bring to teenage boys, horny husbands, bi-curious college girls, and rich old men, far outweigh the detriments they inflict upon us.
In recent years, Sluts have started to stand up for themselves. As you may have read in the newspapers this passed spring, an organization of female protestors known as Slutwalk developed across North American cities. No one can clearly remember what exactly they were protesting about, but one thing is certain, they looked damn good doing it. Clad in skimpy skirts, lingerie, and fishnet stockings, hot girls in every major city marched down the streets with signs that no one read, bouncing breasts that everyone stared at.
Since then, many off shoot groups have started up who are trying to reclaim the status of sluts in our society. Stephen Harper recently passed a legislation declaring March 01 National Slut Appreciation Day. In order to celebrate the newly founded holiday, men and women across North America will be adorning their shirt collars and blouses with pins displaying the abbreviations STD, Sluts Treasured Day, to encourage others to appreciate their contributions to society on this holiest of holy days.
It is also important to recognize that there are different types of degrees of Sluts. There is the party slut, for example, who are normally quite reserved but as soon as they find themselves in a large group of people with a significant amount of alcohol in their system, they let all inhibitions fly out of their skirt. Another popular slut archetype is the quiet girl slut. These are the girls who never say anything to anyone, dress like they are from the 1950’s, and study harder than a newly landed Asian child. These girls, secretly, are complete whores; often banging the entire football team at once, or performing oral on every single male teacher in the school. Of course, because they are so socially conservative, both parties agree to keep it a secret.
1. Man, I’m so horny right now. Let’s go down to that protest in Queen’s park and pick ourselves up a Slut.
2. If it weren’t for all the sluts I met in college, I never would have realized my intense fetish for ball stomping.
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