Shaft is the word used to describe the area of the penis running from the head down to the base. At the end of the shaft are found the balls. It seems silly and unnecessary to actually define the shaft, or locate the balls, but according to a recent survey conducted by orgasm.com, 95% of all men have experienced blowjobs from women who apparently have no idea where the balls are, or whether or not the shaft is an important part of the penis.

Well, ladies, I’m here to tell you that both the shaft and balls are vital parts of the penis, and they should not be ignored during oral sex. In fact, spending a few extra minutes rubbing/sucking on the balls, or wrapping your hands around the shaft, could shave at least 10 minutes off the amount of time you have to spend on your knees. I’m telling you this for your benefit, as well as all the men out there who suffer daily from crappy blowjobs. So, from now on, if you’re going to spend time down there anyway, how about you do it right? Suck, strum, rub, or clutch those testicles, and make sure you spend as much time jerking off the entire shaft of your man’s cock as you do licking the end of his penis (advice #2: that doesn’t actually feel near as good as you think it does). Better yet, if you’re able, try actually fitting his entire shaft, or at least most of it, into your mouth. You’d be surprised at how fast he’ll cum if you’re able to do a little deep throat as you rub his balls.

Using the term shaft for the length of a man’s penis first began in Medieval times, when men carrying long swords and wooden staffs were considered the ‘meat’ of any army. The weaponry used by these soldiers always had long, thick shafts of some sort, which improved their reach toward the enemy and also made the weapon itself much stronger. In fact, King James IV ordered every single soldier under his rule to carry a long staff, which he called the “shafte.” Although the modern day spelling has lost the ‘e,’ this is where the term derived form.

In the 1970’s, a black private detective picked up on the racially based stereotypes of black men, and decided to dub himself “Shaft.” Implied with this nickname each and every time a hot female victim uttered it, was that this man had an enormous concealed weapon (which he obviously did, because he was black).

1. I got a tattoo last night across the length of my shaft. It says, “pull” with an arrow pointing towards the head, and “push” with an arrow pointing towards the balls. My wife better be able to take a hint.

2. I accidentally got a 2L coke bottle stuck on the shaft of my dick. It’s embarrassing, mostly because I had to admit to the nurses and doctor’s who removed it that I’m more of a Pepsi drinker.

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Cock

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