The ultimate battle of the sexes. Trying to find a room temperature cool enough so that nobody sweats during sex but not so cold that the woman can’t have her clothes off. This is a constant challenge for couples, particularly hetero couples because women are usually colder than men. Or that’s my experience. As in I’m always freezing and my partner runs ten to fifteen degrees hotter than all humans. He likes to sleep with the window wide open and a fan running, summer OR winter. And he sleeps naked while I basically go to bed in a snow suit. Sometimes I think being cold is the main reason for my anger issues.
So it is a battle for us, as it is for many couples, to find a temperature for maximum comfort during sex. And it’s not that you don’t want any sweat during sex. Everyone wants a little. What you don’t want is so much sweat that your bodies get all slippery and in the middle of a particularly enthusiastic romp the one on top thrusts so hard they slide right off and bang themselves into the dresser, knocking themselves unconscious. That just gets awkward. Sex injuries from sweating are always a risk. But you want to be warm with your lover. And a guy’s dick has a much harder time getting into its full upright position in a cold room.
What’s helpful is if you have a variety of blankets within arms reach. And if it’s still too cold for the woman to take off all her clothes, you can at least get her down to a t-shirt and knee socks. In fact, knee socks are incredibly hot and can totally add to the turn-on of your situation. Throw on a school girl skirt or, if you’re in the Saskatchewan Girls Gone Wild video, a parka, and you’re set.
The truth is, I get tired of freezing during sex. It’s like when you’re camping and you’ve finally gotten warm in your sleeping bag with your billions of layers of clothing and you have to fucking pee and it’s raining or snowing or hailing outside and you just know that the second you get outside you’re going to be chilled to the bone. What dudes don’t get is that no bone slides into a woman particularly well when she’s chilled. So let the temperature in the bedroom be on the warm side. You’re more likely to get blow jobs, does that help? I’ll even let you jizz on my face with my head hanging over the side of the bed. Now that’s romance.
1. This sexquarium is about to get nasty. We’ve got our leather on, our whips and chains and restraints and dildos and blindfolds and gags. We’ve got the window open for a little light breeze and candles burning to keep enough warmth.
2. I’m gonna turn our bedroom into a sexquarium. Fill it with water and some plastic plants. Through in some tropical fish and a Mermaid to fuck and I’m good to go.
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