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A sex video is a video with sex in it. It could be just about anything just as long as there’s some genitals rubbing up against each other, or some hands in vaginas or on penises or some vibes being shoved into orifices or some tongues licking skin. There are lots of options, really.
The following are some dos and don’ts if you’re going to make a sex video:
If you’re going to make a sex video, DO make sure to keep the evidence somewhere semi-private so when the folks come for Christmas and you’re making sure they’re all comfy and cozy in your bedroom they can’t reach under the bed for their slippers and come up with the video camera that you perform your dirty disgusting sex acts for.
If you’re going to make a sex video, DON’T do anything while wearing a scrunchie. You will inevitably regret it and never want to show your face in front of a camera again.
If you’re going to make a sex video DO wear fishnet stockings. Whether you’re a lady or a dude, fishnets are never inappropriate and always hype up the sexual under or overtones for the viewers. Fishnets make everything sexier and they come in a plethora of colours. Sidebar: DON’T be against having your lover slice them off with a carving knife or tearing them off you with his/her bared hands.
If you’re going to make a sex video, DON’T be shy. Give it your all. DON’T hide your face from the camera. Especially if you end up with cum all over it. That will just be annoying to the viewer and they’ll end up being tempted cum in your eye next time.
If you’re going to make a sex video, DON’T get cum in your eye, if you can help it. If you DO get cum in your eye, it was probably your own fault. Wear glasses. Learn to blink. What’s wrong with you?
If you’re going to make a sex video, DO wash your hair before hand. There is nothing more disturbing than a greaser making a sex video.
If you’re going to make a sex video, DON’T be afraid to be super loud. Half the fun of sex videos is how hilarious your voice sounds on camera. You’ll be the only one watching it anyway, you big perv.
If you’re going to make a sex video, DO double check to make sure the camera is actually recording before you get into the really nasty stuff. You’ll be massively disappointed if you go all out for the video only to find out that the recording didn’t work. You’ll probably cry and have to drink warm milk.
1. I’m making a sex video with my best friend and her boyfriend. We’re going to set the camera up in the bedroom and just go crazy. I hope he ends up dumping her once he realizes what a superstar I am in bed.
2. If only I hadn’t made that sex video when I was seventeen. Now I’ll never be president.
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