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Score is a slang term for getting laid, or engaging in sexual intercourse, popularized by douche bags across America since the popularization of teen sitcoms revolving around Fraternities and high school kids trying to lose their virginity. Usually used in the past tense, or the infinitive “to score,” the term is generally only used by males, and predominantly two types of males, both of which rarely actually have sex in the first place.

The first kind is the type you would see in frat houses, clubs, and college dorm rooms, with flipped collars, gelled hair, and more often than not wearing a pink dress shirt non-ironically. These guys usually talk about ‘scoring’ far more often than they actually score, despite the apparent confidence and their plethora of stories involving various hot chicks that they supposedly fucked.

The other type of male who still uses this dated term for having sex with a woman is the nerds. And no, I don’t mean the nerds with earth tone corduroys, sweater vests, and thick rimmed glasses; those are hipsters. Surprisingly enough, they get laid. Often. I’m talking about real nerds, in the 1990’s sense of the word. Those individuals who, for whatever reason, find it impossible to use a Kleenex, conceal their belly buttons with their waist band, and find it easier to speak in Star Wars lingo than to mingle at a party. It is true that with the introduction of hipsters and pothead video gamers, that the old fashioned nerd is nearly extinct, but they do exist in some smaller, more rural areas. These nerds will often use the term score way later into their adult life than they ever should, most likely because they still haven’t “scored” yet. They are also the type of male you will see drinking and mingling like a pro at every single high school reunion, mostly because all the people who used to bully them never bothered to attend. At these reunions, they will use the term score more in one night than they ever had in their entire lives.

Now, score has other uses in different contexts. In Scat porn, ‘to score’ means to accurately launch a liquid shit into the mouth of your partner while they lie on the floor three feet away. In S&M porn, ‘to score’ actually means to burn the flesh of a sexual partner with a hot iron, so much so that a lasting scar remains. Furthermore, in Germany, when a man is overheard saying that he “scored” last night at the bar, it means he managed to pick up a woman with an extensive collection of cock rings. So, it is important to use the term in the correct context, to avoid confusion. And remember, if you’re American or Canadian, and you’re strictly talking about having sex, don’t ever use the term “score” unless you’re being ironic, because it’s very very lame.

1. Jeremy totally scored last night. He had sex with a hot tourist girl he picked up at a local bar. For some reason, she was obsessed with putting elastic bands around the base of his cock.

2. If you think you might score, and the girl’s name is Leanne, you’re probably right.

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