A schlong is a large penis. A giant cock. A huge dick. A ginormas schwing schwong. You get the picture.
Anyone who’s got a true schlong likely considers it to be both a blessing and a curse. In our society, the size of a man’s cock is tied directly to his masculinity. Most men wished their penises were larger, longer, and thicker. They want to feel well hung. When they’re getting changed in the locker room they want their dick to be flopping all over the place because it’s so huge. When they’re getting a blowjob they want to be so huge that the chick gags and passes out because she’s unable to breathe. When he’s pounding a chick he wants his cock to fill up her pussy so much that she gasps and cries out with pain and pleasure every time he thrusts into her. Every dude wants this and most guys don’t realize that chicks don’t NEED that much cock. Not only do they not need it, most of them don’t want it. Women want to be able to get pounded without pain, they want to be able to give blowjobs without passing out, they want anal sex and it’s really hard to have hot anal sex when the dick is so huge that even the tip can hardly fit.
So yeah, a dude with a giant schlong can feel good about his dick in the locker room and among guy cock talk. But when it comes to fucking, he’s going to run into some challenges. He may not be able to have the pounding fuck sessions he wishes he could have because his dick is just too thick and long. He might not be able to get into his girlfriend’s ass, or deep throat his boyfriend. He might have his lovers smile compassionately at him before showing him the door under the guise of, ‘I just don’t think this is gonna work out’ knowing that it’s all because of his massive dick.
So while you may be a dude with an average dick or even a smaller than average dick, remember that this actually gives you the opportunity to have all the hot sex that you’ve always wanted to have. Your dick won’t be what prevents you from having awesome fuck session, but your mind might hold you back at times. You’ve got to fight the urge to feel self-conscious because your dick isn’t porno huge. Most chicks don’t want that anyway and those that do should go out and find one of those giant schlong guys who actually get the raw end of the deal by not being able to satisfy their lovers because their dicks are too huge.
1. My boyfriend has such a massive schlong that when I blow him I can only fit a third of him into my mouth. Sometimes he cries about it when he thinks I’m asleep.
2. The last schlong I fucked couldn’t get inside my ass. I had to dump the dude it was attached to.
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