A same-sex marriage is when a same-sex couple get married. Relatively simple, right? Well, not in the States. In Canada we have marriage equality, but only a handful of states in the US have it. Since the US is full of born again Christians and has to deal with all the bible belt states who are completely ass backwards about what marriage is and the history of the institution that it’s probably going to take awhile for things to change.
Gay marriage isn’t particularly different from hetero marriage. The institution is constantly evolving and even with the inclusion of gay marriage it will continue to evolve. What it means and represents and symbolizes will continue to change and technology moves forward. Marriage has to constantly reinvent itself because society is constantly reinventing itself. It’s just the way things are always going to be, in transition and in transformation.
The best part about marriage equality is that it means that those who chose to be in hetero marriages can start redefining want those marriages mean. We no longer have to live by these hard and fast rules and expectations of monogamy and traditional roles. The women’s liberation movement, the civil rights movement, and the gay rights movement have all contributed to the evolution of marriage and I think that is super awesome. We need to recreate this institution. It’s been held captive by religious fundamentalists for way too long. Many of us want to live in a secular society where we aren’t basing our values and lives on Christian dogma. We want to be free. Same-sex marriage is a way for hetero couples to free themselves from the constraints of traditionalism.
There is a reason why much of society wants to get married. We want to share our lives with someone yes, but it’s also about a union of privacy and protection. It’s about being a part of something larger than ourselves and building something that transforms both individuals. Most people will never experience that because they marry for love or lust or feelings of unworthiness, or poor self-esteem. Many people come to the decision lightly and without much thought (enter the wedding industry, which is clearly one of the main things that distracts us from the realities of marriage) and don’t realize how much hard work it actually takes. Queer couples have to think about all of that because this particular right has been withheld from them for so long. Yes Canadian queer couples can marry, but that’s only been in the last seven years. It’s still such a new right for queer couples and this right is still threatened from time to time. It is time for all of us to really think about what marriage means and how much work it actually takes to build a healthy lasting marriage of substance.
1. Same-sex marriage is when two chicks decide to spend the rest of their lives together NOT having sex.
2. Same-sex marriage is when two dudes get to fuck like bunnies AND adopt kids.
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