Docking is an extremely difficult task to pull off, especially for heterosexual men, as it refers to inserting the head of one man’s penis inside the foreskin of another man’s penis, thus creating a Chinese finger-trap like image.
There really is no good reason to do this except that it looks hilarious, and gives you the chance to touch another man’s cock without necessarily being considered gay (although to most people, you’re at least bisexual if your docking some other dudes boat).
Docking was actually first invented by an extremely heterosexual male writer in the twentieth century, known as Ernest Hemingway. As everyone knows, Hemingway was a total ladies man, and he also loved to get really drunk and high on a yacht for a few days and invite a whole bunch of male and female friends on board to join him.
In fact, the parties became so popular that he eventually had to start turning people away because there wasn’t enough room on the boat. More importantly, there were far too many young, good looking males showing up and stealing all the hot girls from Hemingway and his older, socially reclusive, ugly writer friends. After a long night of drinking Scotch and playing pin the tail on the donkey with a midget tied face first to the wall, Hemingway finally came up with the idea of a secret code.
What started off as a secret handshake until he realized it was cliché and boring (for some reason that never stopped him from writing his fiction though), soon turned into a strange and homoerotic act known as docking, where the next man in line waiting to board the party boat would be asked if he was invited. If he was invited, he would step forward, unzip his fly, and dock the uncircumcised bouncer waiting at the door. Any man who refused to do so was not permitted to enter his party, which was pretty much every straight or homophobic man.
You see, that was Hemingway’s genius. By developing a super gay secret dick shaking code to get in, he pretty much ensured that no overtly heterosexual young man would try to come. Essentially, it would just be him, a room full of ladies, and a handful of gay men, ugly bisexuals, or guys who were just desperate enough to get laid to shove their mushroom tip inside another man’s tree trunk. That left Hemingway first pick of the litter of hot young ladies who were only there because they wanted to fall in love with a famous writer.
1. If you try to go docking with another man, and you’re both circumcised, it’s just called “pirating” because one penis has to overcome the other.
2. If you ever really want to go docking, make sure that the man you’re doing it with has good hygiene. There’s nothing worse than dipping your mushroom tip into someone else’s cheese sauce. It’s a smell that never really leaves you, no matter how many times you shower.
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