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Red Wings is a term known very well by bikers, but often confused by hockey fans.
Technically, red wings is a slang term for the act of performing cunnilingus on a woman while she is on her period. Although many men find even the mere thought of doing this repulsive, it is actually quite common, and can really score you some extra blowjob points in the long run.
The term red wings originated from the infamous Biker Gang known as the “Hell’s Angels.” These burly biker dudes would often adorn a tattoo on their shoulder, bicep, or forearm, of a simplistically drawn set of red wings. This was a badge of honour and pride among these hardcore men, claiming to the world that they were willing to open the doors of Aunt Flo’s closet, and stick their noses where they didn’t belong. Not surprisingly, biker men sporting these tattoos often get more pussy than they could possibly deserve, especially considering they are usually 250 plus pounds, chain smoke, and shower once a week from local truck stop bathrooms. The only drawback is that they usually have to wring out their beards in the sink after performing their red wing duties, which is not a pleasant task for anyone.
Now, for any of you men out there who are squeamish or hesitant to try and earn your red wings, we have a few tips for you. First of all, try introducing your woman to the idea of a “Diva Cup.” This handy, plastic device gets inserted into the vagina during a woman’s period, and collects nearly 99% percent of all blood and discharge. It also does miracles with controlling odor, and can be removed quite quickly when it becomes full. Then, the woman simply washes it off, boils it in hot water, and sticks it right back up there.
If your particular woman doesn’t have an interest in Diva Cups, buy her one for her birthday and tell her you want to go down on her during her period. She’ll be so ecstatic that she’ll probably give you a blowjob right there on the spot. If, after all that, she still doesn’t want to wear a diva cup, then there are two tricks. One, get really really drunk before you’re about to go down on her (to numb yourself), and two, try to get her right after she showers, when she is the most clean. It may sound disgusting, and it is, but it is well worth the countless blowjobs and homemade dinners you will receive in return. So men, plug your nose, open your mouth, and dive right into the crimson tide. The water is warm and murky.
1. Bubba earned his red wings shortly after he bought his first Harley. Fortunately for him, he already loved the taste of blood.
2. If you’re girlfriend hates giving you blowjobs, then you’re going to have to put on your red wings. After that, she’ll feel so grateful and guilty she’ll be sucking your dick in no time.
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