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When doing a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don’t let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It’s almost as much fun to have her trip on her face, and onto the floor.
You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and without using your hands to grab onto her hips.
It is a feat of balance, endurance, and sheer will. The trick is to keep your cock in the pussy or asshole, while you are pushing her around the room. It has to be done hands-free, so it ain’t easy. Don’t expect to do it the first time out. Film all your attempts, and analyze the footage the next day. Work on your weak points, and build on your strengths. You can do it, buddy!
At first, you may want to throw your old football helmet on your lady. There will be falls and some head contact for the woman. So, if you want her to still remember how to make you a sandwich when you’re done, try to minimize the brain damage she incurs.
The Rear Admiral is a much harder sex move than the Commodore. The Commodore just means you fuck her on an obsolete computer system from the eighties.
In Vietnam, Rear Admiral literally translates to “master of the rowboat”. If you can perform the Rear Admiral in a rowboat without falling into the water, you are the king. Remember to wear your life-preservers and condom.
I came from a small farming community, and there were always lots of stray dogs running around everywhere. Sometimes, a couple dogs would start having sex in the middle of the street, and then a car would come up and honk their horn so they’d get out of the way. The dogs wouldn’t disengage from the sex, but would still try to walk together and get out of the way. It was hilarious. Reminds me a lot of the Rear Admiral.
Ladies, help your guys attain the rank of Rear Admiral. Your job is to stay on your feet as long as possible. Yoga and large doses of LSD are purported to help. Remember – you may not be the Rear Admiral, but you will get some semen on your poop deck. Ha!
The rank of Rear Admiral can be attained by women who have a strap-on dildo. Equality!
1. John attained the rank of Rear Admiral with his wife on his fortieth birthday. He was proud and wanted to let all his buddies know, but also believed in the “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that has been the norm since Clinton took office.
2. Ken tried the Rear Admiral with his girlfriend, and she cracked her collarbone on the TV. Ken feels bad.
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