To Rackjack means to steal a girl someone else was just hitting on. It is different than cockblocking someone, which means to ruin someone else’s chances at getting laid. Rackjacking someone does ruin their chances, but the rackjacker ends up with the girl, whereas the cockblocker does not. In this way, rackjacking is superior to cockblocking, because at least someone is crushing some pussy that night.
A “rack” is slang for a set of breasts. So, instead of hijacking, or carjacking, a person can also engage in rackjacking. When I first heard the term rackjacking, I thought it meant jacking off onto a woman’s tits. Or jacking off while looking at tits on the internet. If that was what rackjacking meant, than god knows I’ve rackjacked it to Gianna Michaels at least fifty times this month alone.
The classic rackjacking move is to watch another guy hitting on a drunk girl at a club. He’s the sap that has to buy her drinks all night long. And at 8 bucks for a gin and tonic, let him! All you do is every twenty minutes or so, walk by her. Sometimes walk in front of her and smile a sexy smile. She’ll respond with one of her own. The dupe that’s buying her drinks might be pissed, but you’ve walked away before he can get too mad. During a few of your walk-bys, walk behind her and rub your crotch into her ass. Act like it’s really crowded, and you had no choice. She knows what you’re doing. You’re laying foundation.
Once she’s really drunk and ready to be taken home for fucking, wait until he goes to the bar for one last round. That’s when you pounce. You’ve got about five minutes before he gets the drinks and back to the woman. Tell her you’ve got a huge cock, lots of cocaine, and an expensive car in the parking lot. By the time buddy gets back with her gin and tonic, you’re driving her home and she’s got her mouth on your dick.
Getting rackjacked is never a good feeling. But, you have to respect the playa. Plus, you can always go home with a less good-looking skank. Trust me – there’s always some cooze looking for a cock at 2 in the morning. She may not be as hot as the chick that got rackjacked, but whatever. It’s not like you’re going to marry her, right? Take her back to her place, give her a fake name, and give her what she wants.
And you’ll have learned a valuable lesson. Never leave the girl you’ve been buying drinks for all night alone at any time. Get her to keep you company while you go to the bar for drinks. Escort her to the lady’s room, and wait outside until she’s done. Don’t give the rackjackers an opening. Then you’ll get the opening. Her opening her legs!
1. Tim was the victim of a rackjack last night. Poor guy.
2. Christopher Walken showed Robert Wagner how a rackjack is done.
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