During WWII French women would stuff their vaginas with cheese and queef to avoid being raped by Nazi soldiers during village invasions. So offensive was the smell of these queefs that the Nazi’s would avoid these villages entirely; often returning to base in need of medical treatment similar to that required by victims of napalm. Due to the scarceness of food during those times the cheese could not be wasted. In the absence of a chicken the most popular way to enjoy Queef Cordon Bleu was for the whole family to gather around Mum’s vagina with their bread sticks. Every one would enjoy dipping their bread in the cheese and Mum would get a little extra kick for her hard work.
There’s nothing tastier than a cheesy vagina, except maybe a fondue with hot melted cheese and bread. Once when I was fourteen, I was eating fondue at a restaurant with my family in Quebec City and my aunt leaned over to me and said, ‘this pot of cheese totally smells like pussy, don’t you think?’ It was kind of awkward cause I was mid chew and suddenly it DID smell like pussy and it definitely tasted like pussy and I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to keep eating. When I finally did eat pussy several years later I had to phone up my aunt halfway through and tell her that no, I really didn’t think that cheese smelled anything like pussy. She had no clue what I was talking about so I hung up and went back to licking clit. It was delicious.
If I was going to put something into my girlfriend’s snatch it would definitely be cheese. Hot stringy melted Swiss or Monterrey Jack (but nothing too hot – I wouldn’t want to burn her) and then I would eat all that cheese out of her gapping hole. I might stand around with hunks of bread and dip it the way the little French children did. Seems like a lovely French custom. The other thing I would put in her vag would be lamb stew, just because it’s delicious. I could lap up all that rich stew made with maple stout and giant chunks of lamb and carrot and potato. Maybe I’d even pour some plain yoghurt on top to add a tartness to the whole deal.
1. Last night my girlfriend queefed after sex and it smelled like moldy cheese. I asked her what was up and she looked totally embarrassed. She explained to me that she’s French and her mom taught her that she should keep strong cheese in her pussy until she found the right man. That way, all the other men would be repelled by her stench. I told her I loved the smell of her cheesy queef cordon bleus and I licked her pussy. She tasted like fondue and five-day-old gym socks. Delicious.
2. I’m going to have a queef cordon blue for dinner tonight. My girlfriend’s gonna fart out of her pussy and I’m going to stick my face down there so I can smell her stinky cunt.
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