A QUILF has four different definitions:
#1. Queen I’d Like to Fuck
This is fairly straightforward. There are a lot of sexy queens out there (and yes, I’m talking about ALL QUEENS…this includes those of the royal variety and those of the homo variety), and most of them are pretty righteous. Yes, some are dead, but if you can just ignore that silly little detail then you’ve got a whole whack of mad hot queens you can fuck. My top queens of choice are, Queen Victoria (I’m pretty sure she knew how to fuck since she ruled just like a hopped up on power dude plus she was the longest reining monarch in Britain’s history), Queen Latifah (DAMN, Queen L is mad sexy and knows how to work her milk chocolate magic), Queens University (yeah, I went there and I fucked a whole bunch of Queens students….don’t judge) and pretty much all drag queens because their legs and tits are almost always hotter than mine.
#2. Quaker I’d Like to Fuck
There aren’t many of these out there, because there aren’t that many Quakers who aren’t total flakers, but there are a few. For example, Maggie from Six Feet Under was a Quaker and while she was annoying and had kind of a ferret face, the shot of her in her black lacy underwear showed that she has a super hot ass.
#3. Queers I’d Like to Fuck
God there are so many queers I’d love to fuck. Like basically anyone who is femme queer and has a cute faux hawk or some other dykey kind of haircut, any chick who does roller derby, and all queers who like to dance. My favourite queers are the ones who are all punk and alternative and feminist and like to date and fuck multiple women and who will spread their legs at a moment’s notice.
And last but certainly not least…
#4. Quadriplegic I’d Like to Fuck.
I don’t actually know very many Quadriplegic’s but I heard that they can have mad awesome orgasms by someone stimulating the underside of their knees. For that reason alone I kind of want to get with one just to see what it would be like to give someone a knee orgasm.
1. Man, that chick is mad hot. I know she’s a big dyke but I’d love to see how she takes a pounding from my giant straight white upper-middle class privileged cock. She’s a total QILF (Queer I’d Like to Fuck).
2. My girlfriend is a QILF (Quadriplegic I’d Like to Fuck). Luckily I AM fucking her on, like, a regular basis. The only problem is that basically every dude out there keeps hitting on her and because she’s in a wheelchair it’s hard for her to get away from them. She’s tried wheeling away slowly (kind of like backing away slowly) but they just follow her blindly without realizing that she’s not into them. I gave her a spray bottle filled with Lysol. Hopefully that does the trick.
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