A popcorn trick is a sex move first popularized by teenage boys in North America, because it manages to turn the most PG of dates into a clip from girls gone wild videos. It’s not always successful, but if you happen to be dating one of those shy, but secretly slutty high school girls, then you’re bound to pull it off.
First, take your girlfriend or date out to the movie theaters for a romantic evening, preferably choosing a Rom Com or French film, depending on whether you’re trying to bang the head cheerleader or the hot, older artsy chick. Before the movie starts, take her to the confectionary stand and buy a large tub of popcorn. Keep in mind though, the size of popcorn should reflect how well endowed you are. If you’re Ron fucking Jeremy, buy the biggest barrel of popcorn they happen to sell, but if you’re hung like a Chinese businessman, save a few dollars and buy the extra small. Also, you should make sure the pimple-faced online gamer behind the counter dumps on loads of extra butter. After all, you might need some extra lube if your date happens to have braces, or a really firm grip.
Wait until the coming attractions are over and the lights dim, and then cut out a penis-sized hole in the bottom of your popcorn tub with a pocketknife, insert your cock inside the hole, and rest the entire tub in your lap. Continuously offer your date some popcorn throughout the movie, trying to time it so that the most romantic, sexually arousing scene in the film occurs at exactly the same time that she finishes the popcorn. When she finally digs down deep to grab the last handful of Kernels, she’ll grab onto a thick pound of your buttered flesh. If you were correct in assuming that she’s secretly slutty, you’ll be getting a greasy hand job or salty blowjob and busting your nut before the final credits roll. You see, most young high school girls are secretly slutty, they just don’t want to act on it because they’re afraid of getting a bad reputation at school. Sometimes, all they need is a little extra push in the right direction, and the guise of a dark movie theater and cardboard popcorn bucket to get them to let go of all their inhibitions.
If you’re someone who prefers blowjobs to hand jobs, then wait to perform the popcorn trick on the second or third date, after you’ve asked her what her favourite flavour of popcorn is. Sometimes adding those little packets of dill powder or BBQ flavouring can make the difference between a deep throat swallower and a cum-and-catch pole stroker.
1. When I was in high school, I once tried the popcorn trick on Leanne. What I thought would be a discreet, undercover handjob, turned into a noisy cowgirl fuck session in the front row of the movie theater.
2. Never try the popcorn trick on a vegan chick, because they’ll never eat the butter. It’ll be the driest hand job of your life.
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