It’s 3am and you’re messing around with some horse-faced girl you picked up at the bar while under the influence of extreme beer goggles. In between her soft nays and trots, she grabs a saddle and straps it on your back. This, my friends, is called Pony Play.
Any kind of costume used during sex, pertaining to a horse, pony, or horse-faced lady, is considered Pony Play. Items are usually plastic or vinyl as to be quickly placed on and ripped off. Not to be confused with doggy style, although quite similar when one partner mounts the other to ride around the bedroom, kitchen, or department store.
Alternately, plastic or foam horse-shoes can be used as a modern spin on the classic outdoor game. The man lays down, his cock pointing to high noon, as his partner throws horseshoes at it in hopes of keeping the U-shape around his dong. After three have been successfully rang mounting proceeds – in most cases reverse-cow-girl style. Disclaimer: do NOT use actual hose shoes unless you’re in the Guinness Book of Records for hardest dick in recorded history.
Pony play can incorporate one or many items of a horse-related nature. Usually kept to plastic hooves, saddles, bit bridles (for the S&M horse lovers), and Halloween two-person horse costumes. Horse costumes are commonly used as a fetish item for both horse-enthusiasts as well as rimming specialists. One must be quite skilled in the art of rimming because, with the costume on, it is very dark and ass cheeks must be spread with the hands, thus leaving hands unavailable for balance. If successful, the front horse will clomp its hooves down in delight and give a sugar cube to the rear horse in thanks.
Other common practices of Pony Play are modeled after Star Wars. The two lovers, naked and cold, climb into a horse (usually just the costume to steer clear of animal-rights activists) and get freaky. Once the inside of the cavity becomes hot and dry, roast beef sandwich-lovers can use horsey sauce to add to the sensual pleasures. WARNING: it’s spicy!
A romp in the hay can be classified as Pony Play if one or more participants uses a saddle, bridle, horseshoe, or the fence located in or around the barn. A playful or seductive nay must be muttered if these items are not incorporated. Just make sure to take note of any TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT signs and always remember: assume all electric fences are on! If sleeping with the farmer’s daughter is an option, do it and get away quick – preferably on horseback!
General horse grooming is also considered Pony Play. You need to acquire one or more of the following horse grooming tools: a rubber curry, dandy brush, body brush (should have horse hair as bristles), a hoof pick or brush, a mane comb. Always make circular movements and brush away from the face, moving towards the ass, ending with the tail. Make sure your mate is safely tied wearing a leather halter or by using quick-release snaps on cross-ties. Giddy up!
1. Christopher Reeves loved pony play, but now he’s doing more wheel play.
2. Hitler wanted some pony play, but I told him he needed to be hung like a horse.
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