A pimp is an agent for prostitutes who takes a percentage of the money the whores earn from the sucking and fucking. How much they do for the whores in their stable differs from pimp to pimp. Some pimps are very hands-on, teaching their hos to trick with more finesse as their time together goes on. Some pimps advertise their hos to get them more business from a superior clientele. Most pimps offer protection to keep heavy-handed johns from roughing up their meat.
A pimp doesn’t necessarily have to be a man. Lady pimps are out there too. However, a lady pimp is known as a madam, and is usually in charge of a brothel, rather than a stable of streetwalkers. If you ever have the chance to befriend a madam, do it. That way, when her brothel gets some new whores in, you can get the inside track, so to speak. The madam will let you know that a new whore has started, and you can have the chance to fuck her before her vagina gets destroyed by the thousand cocks she’s going to take over the next few years at the brothel.
Some whores actually go so far as to get the name or face of their pimp tattooed on themselves. Maybe that’s why Bartholomew the pimp has so few ladies in his stable, but Ray has a lot. Tattoos hurt, and Bartholomew would require a few visits to complete. With Ray, you’re in and out of the tattoo parlor before you can say bareback blowjob.
Most pimps pimpafy they stuff. That means to make it awesome. Have you seen the TV show “Pimp My Ride”? It’s all about making a car awesome. Pimps usually have pimp canes. It goes without saying that the canes are pimpafied, usually having lots of jewels encrusted in it. When I was pimping back in Seattle, I pimpafied my umbrella. It was just as audacious as most pimp canes, but also handy in a rainstorm.
1. When Gus saw Rita, his old high-school flame, turning tricks on the street corner, she told him that she’d give him a suck and fuck for sixty bucks. When they were in high-school twenty years earlier, Rita was determined to stay a virgin while they dated, so Gus never got to fuck her. It was his only regret in life. He asked her how much it would cost to fuck her in the ass and then cum in her mouth, while she was acting like it was their prom night twenty years ago. (The Prom Queen Experience (PQE), as it would come to be known.) She talked it over with her pimp Ray-Ray, and he told her to charge a hundred-and-fifty dollars. No regrets now for ‘ol Gus! He even went to the Salvation Army to buy her a used prom dress first, to make their PQE more authentic.
2. Wayne Brady is an awesome pimp, and will choke a bitch.
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