That feeling that college students experience where they feel so exhausted that the idea of their face hitting their pillow sounds so utterly fantastic it’s almost sexual. This is also true for those of us working ridiculously tedious office jobs that slowly suck the life and soul out of us from eight in the morning until five at night. The rest of the evening is usually spent watching You Tube videos, eating take-out, and slowly mummifying ourselves. Once we get to bed the mattress feels so damn good we’re angry with ourselves for not taking the opportunity to lie down for a nap earlier.
Pillow lust happens to us all, but lets face it, it is at its height of amazing for new parents. New parents always look like they’re about to die from sleep deprivation. Actually, sometimes it’s not simply new parents, but parents with older children who just never got into the habit of being into sleeping. No one desires sleep more, no one craves their pillow the hardest, and no one would be more willing to boff their loved ones if it meant they could get to that pillow faster. Parents of babies and young children just never get to sleep, EVER. So they experience sleep as a part of their sexuality. I have friends who basically totally stopped having sex the second they had their first kid, but have a complete love affair with their bed, to the point where if their partner interrupts them, they get more than just the stink eye, the get the stink kick to the crotch.
Sleep and sex go beautifully together. You can up your pillow lust by having a sweet orgasm before letting your head fall hard against the pillow. The best way to make that happen when you’re exhausted is to fall back on your trusty vibrator. If you’re a dude you can easily find something that will stimulate your junk so that you don’t have to expend too much energy wacking off.
The one thing to be aware of when it comes to pillow lust is the danger of being physically and sexually attracted to your pillow. If you find yourself mistaking your pillow for your partner, or for a newer sexier version of your partner, you may be running into trouble. If you start making excuses to stay in bed and you’ve stopped having sex with anyone but your pillow, you may want to consider seeing someone.
1. I’ve got mad pillow lust. Sometimes I forget what it means and I start humping my pillow. Then I get exhausted and fall asleep and my pillow sings Soft Kitty to me.
2. I had my first baby when I was thirty-three. I was prepared for sleepless nights but I wasn’t prepared for being woken up every hour on the hour for the first year. My pillow lust got so bad that my husband started dressing in a homemade pillow costume in the hopes that I would lie down on top of him.
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