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A Perfect Game is when someone (a “player”) can meet, seduce, fuck, and quit a lover, but leave them happy in every way. It is a difficult task, to say the least, and one that takes practice, planning, and focus. Are you ready for your first steps down a long and hard road? Then let’s begin.
Obviously, the trickiest part of the perfect game is dumping someone after you’ve fucked them, but leave them happy about the whole experience. Sure, sometimes you meet someone who is only interested in a one night stand. They’re easy to pull a perfect game with, because the dumping is taken out of the equation. I’m talking about someone that was only with you because they wanted to start a real relationship. Now you’ve fucked them and left them. How do you make them happy about it?
Each situation is different. Let’s say you meet some random hot waitress at a diner. You eat there a few times and get her number. You go out a few times and hit it off. On the third date she gives up the pussy. On the fourth date she gives up the butt. On the fifth date she gives you a rim job as you jizz all over her tits. You’ve had your fun, and you want to move on. But she’s developed feelings for you. Here’s what you do.
Find out about her crazy beliefs, and then tailor your excuse to them. Let’s say she really believes in life on other planets and UFOs and shit. You tell her you’ve been recruited by the Men in Black.
Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? But that’s why it’ll work. You’re confirming her stupid beliefs, which she wants to be true. You say that the Men in Black are an actual organization, and they need your help dealing with aliens and UFOs and such. She’ll be dubious at first, of course. But stick with your story. Obviously you will need a nice black suit and a black pair of sunglasses to complete the story. You won’t ever be able to go back to the diner again, but there are plenty of diners in the world.
Voila!
If you run into her on the street or in the mall later on, you can tell her that you left the Men in Black because they kept the truth hidden from people, and you think that people have a right to know about aliens. She’ll agree with you, because she’s a true believer. You can then say that you never called her again because you were “changed” by the things you learned as a Man in Black, and have needed time to “get back to yourself”.
Tell her it was nice to see her, and walk on, cowboy. You’ve just completed the Perfect Game.
1. Gary always liked my mom, so when he played the Perfect Game with her, I was pleased he left her so happy.
2. It’s easy to be a player and complete a Perfect Game with a blind chick.
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