A peanut smuggler is a woman with erect nipples that are visible through her clothing. And as everyone knows, there is nothing hotter than a woman with nice tits whose nipples are showing through her clothes. Big fat tits or small perky tits. Doesn’t matter. If you can see the nipples, it’s super sweet. If you’re talking to a woman with peanut smuggler nipples, it can be extremely difficult to maintain eye contact during the conversation.
Erect nipples are always a good thing. If you stimulate a woman’s nipples, it releases oxytocin in the woman, resulting in the erection of her nips. This can be in the form of licking, sucking, biting, rubbing, pinching, tickling, or blowing on the nipples. The oxytocin that is released gives the woman feelings of trust and human bonding while reducing anxiety. It’s a good idea to give the nipples a lot of attention during foreplay for this reason. You want your lady trusting and relaxed, especially if you’re going to try to perform a successful Ninja maneuver.
For women that get a lot of nipple erections, I suggest investing in a lot of tight-fitting, thin shirts. Turtlenecks are especially nice to see a peanut smuggler walking around in. When a lady gets caught in the rain, and the rain is kind of chilly, it is so awesome. If she’s wearing a tight white t-shirt, and her nipples get all hard, it’s difficult to look away. I suppose it would be the same if some guy was walking down the street with a huge erection poking out in his pants. If you ladies were talking with him, you might find it difficult to maintain eye contact.
The grossest thing in nature is when a man is a peanut smuggler. Erect nipples on a man is God’s greatest mistake. We’ll forgive God, since he also gave us oral sex and Frisbee, but he really should have double-checked his work before letting men have nipples at all. We don’t need them. All they do is give bullies targets for titty-twisters during recess at school.
One day, fresh out of the shower, my ex-girlfriend was complaining that her breasts were too small. I suggested to her “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”
Willing to try anything, she got a piece of toilet paper, and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks. “They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” I replied.
She stopped and asked, “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?”
I said, “Why not? It worked for your ass, didn’t it?”
1. Pamela Anderson seems to constantly be a Peanut Smuggler when she gets her picture taken. God love her.
2. Eighteen year old peanut smugglers are best.
RELATED TERMS: