A Party Hat is a colloquial expression referring to a condom. I suppose it’s because when you’re having sex, it’s like a party. Plus, the end of your cock is called “the head”, over which the condom slides, like a hat. Hence, Party Hat. As far as hats go, it is most like a toque. A condom shaped like a sombrero would just be awkward, although they are coming out with new-fangled domes every day with tickling doo-dads and vibrating whatnots. So, maybe a sombrero condom isn’t too far-fetched after all.
OLE!
For all you young men out there who are a little embarrassed when you go into a drug mart to buy some condoms, don’t be. First of all, you should be proud that you’re having sex with someone else, rather than pounding the bishop ten times a day. Second, if you think it’s hard asking for condoms here in the west, in Danish, the word for a condom is
Svangerskabsforebyggendemiddel. Now that’s a mouthful, no pun intended.
Actually, pun intended.
Party hats usually have expiry dates on them, so if you’re smart, you’ll buy ones that have not expired yet. I have been in a few bars and used the condom machines in the men’s room only to find the expiry on the party hats had gone by. Oh, I still used the domes to fuck with, but it was a risk. Better to get fresh domes than old ones. And don’t use the one that has been in your wallet for the last three years. Use it as a water balloon and get yourself some fresh ones.
Also, heat can damage your party hats, so don’t leave them in your glove box in the car. If it can get hot enough to kill your dog if you leave it in the car, it’s probably going to fuck up your party hats. Don’t use oil-based lubes with a condom because it will break down the rubber. Only use water-based lubes or spit.
Party hats can get kind of expensive if you’re doing a lot of fucking, so don’t be afraid of going to the free clinic in your area and asking for some freebies. You might have to sit down with a counselor for a few minutes to talk about your sex life, but it’s no big deal. While you’re there you can hit on the sexy nurses.
Mmmm. Sexy nurses.
1. Fred went to the prom hoping that his date, Rita, was going to finally give up the pussy. After the dance they were kissing in the back of the limo on the way to an after-party when Rita asked him if he had any Party Hats. Fred pulled out a pack of condoms and Rita smiled. They never made it to the after-party.
2. I was fucking this really fit woman with extremely strong Kegel muscles. When she came, her cunt clenched down and my Party Hat came off inside her. Thank God I gave her a fake name at the beginning of the night!
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