To Park means to stop in a vehicle at a secluded spot for the purpose of having sexual fun. This can be as tame as hand-holding, or be full-on ass-filled-with-gerbils sex-fucking. When you’re a teenager and both sets of parents are at home, it solves a lot of problems to go park. Oh, it’s not perfect, believe me. But at least it’s got privacy and music. Young people, remember – use condoms.
It might seem difficult to get a condom onto a gerbil at first, but keep at it.
Often when a couple stops to park, it’s overlooking a scenic view of some sort. Don’t get me wrong – sometimes a nasty parking lot will do when you’re both super horny. But if you’ve got some time to spend, and gas in the tank, take the lady somewheres purty. Any body of water will work, as will the woods. If you live near the Northern Lights, those are nice.
Since “parking” is really just code for “fucking around in a car”, I’ve made up some accompanying “parking” sex terms:
Double parking – when you’re fucking 2 chicks in a car
Overspill parking – when the condom breaks during parking sex
Parallel parking – missionary position parking sex (no compacts)
Parking violation – no means no, ladies
Shared parking – wife swapping while parking together
Valet parking – a young guy fucks your wife in the backseat while you sit in the front seat – for cuckold fetishists
There are a few great spots for parking that I want to hit before I die. The first is called Tickle Cock Bridge, and it is located in Castleford, England. When you take a lady to Tickle Cock Bridge, you’re not mixing any messages. After Tickle Cock Bridge, I would travel to Gropecunt Lane, also in England. I’d actually have to go back in time, because the last Gropecunt Lane had its name changed in 1561. Up until then, there were many towns with a street called Gropecunt Lane. It was the street with the prostitutes.
Look it up.
Not now. Now you should boot up a nice Sarah Stone video and watch her giant tits as she does nasty things with people. Use the search window at the top right of this page.
She’s one of my faves.
Anyway, back to parking. I’d like to talk about my favorite time parking with a girl. We were both seventeen. Her parents and my parents were home. It was winter. Cold. We were horny. Hot. She came over in her parent’s pick-up (ha!) truck and we drove to the river. We started fooling around and were soon worked up to a frenzy. I pulled her pants and panties down and started fingering her while we made out. She was drenched and moaning like I had never heard before. Then she grabs my wrist and starts controlling my hand going in and out of her. She’s going crazy. Then she orgasms, her head looking up, her eyes rolling back, and the shuddering legs.
Good times.
1. I’d like to park with Sarah Stone.
2. Don’t drain your battery if you park outside town.
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