A Pansexual is a person who is attracted to all genders and all forms of sex. They’ll fuck any race, a male, a female, a straight person, a gay person, a bisexual person, a transsexual, a transvestite, a hermaphrodite, an androgynous person, and/or whatever the stand-up muscle-tard Carrot Top has turned into lately.
The term has nothing to do with the mythical Greek character of Pan, the goat man (and master of the pan flute). He fucked just about anything too, but it’s just a coincidence. It was probably his music that got him laid most. Guys who play a musical instrument have always gotten laid. Go to a music shop and buy yourself a guitar today, guys.
Pansexuals could teach us all a little something about equality. I’ve always known that I wasn’t racist because there are lots of women in every race that I’d love to fuck. Black, white, yellow, brown – I’d do ‘em all. It’s a small world after all. I still haven’t seen any pictures of a hot lady Eskimo yet, but if I ever see one, I’ll try to masturbate to it and let you know if everything comes out OK.
I used to consider myself a “trisexual”. That meaning, I’d “try” anything once. I abandoned that description of myself one night when a tranny with huge tits and a cock as big as my forearm asked me if I wanted to shit in his mouth while he wrote love poetry to Justin Bieber on his fan website. I was not willing to “try” that.
That’s why I’m so impressed with a pansexual. Apparently the reason they can fuck anything and everything is because they care more about the personality, rather than the physical appearance of the person. Can you imagine how sweet that would be?! To somehow be able to get it up for girls that you find interesting?! If you could walk through a mall food court and start talking to a fat ugo, and if she’s funny and smart, still be able to get it up for her? Do you know how much more pussy that would mean for everyone?! God, what a world that would be.
That’s why I think blind people must have amazing sex lives. They don’t have to worry about what the person looks like. They could date the ugliest person in the world, and they wouldn’t even care. They’d just be fucking away, thinking the woman looks like Jessica Simpson. Of course, since their other senses would be heightened, the ugly woman would have to smell fantastic.
If you ever meet a pansexual and are going to have sex with them, I recommend you use a condom. If they’re going to stick their dick into anything, they might have picked up a little problem here or there. Stay safe!
1. Seems to me like Michael Jackson was a pansexual. I think he fucked Bubbles.
2. Every time a pansexual fucks a new person, an angel gets its wings.
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