An Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder is another way of saying bra. Specifically, a big bra that holds back some huge-ass sweater puppies. You shouldn’t use the phrase “over the shoulder boulder holder” unless the tits in question are at least a full c-cup. It’s hardly accurate to refer to some tiny chick’s mosquito-bite tits as boulders, you know what I mean?
Not that I’m disparaging mosquito-bite tits. They’re great. Heck, all tits are great, as long as they aren’t all deflated and saggy. Big, small, medium – they’re all fun times.
Big is best, though.
If you’d like to see a porn star with some real big, all natural boulders, I suggest you search the name “Roxetta”. That is my kind of woman. Gorgeous, red headed, and giant, real tits. When she’s on top riding that lucky son of a bitch, her boobs bounce so beautifully it’s kind of unfair to other women. When she buys a bra, she gets the over the shoulder boulder holder. I’d pay good money just to smell her bra.
But I digress.
When I was in grade eight, that’s when I first heard the term “over the shoulder boulder holder”. I’ve always been a fan of boobs and rhyming, so this was a phrase custom made for me. Then another friend of mine came up to me and pointed at a classmate of ours. She was a black girl with braces, and a good friend of ours named Sally. He said that she was a “black and decker pecker wrecker”. I didn’t really get it at first, but then he explained that if she gave a guy a blowjob, because of her braces, it’d cause a lot of damage. Plus, he explained further, she was black.
I was still six years away from getting my first blowjob, but I still found it funny. It’s the rhyming that gets me every time. I told all the other guys I hung around with, and the nickname stuck. She ended up transferring to another school because we had made fun of her too much. If you’re reading this Sally, I’m sorry. I’d love to get a blowjob from you (assuming you’ve had your braces removed in the last twenty years).
In a way, it’s better in the long-term to date a black and decker pecker wrecker than it is to date a woman with an over the shoulder boulder holder. In fifty years, the woman with braces will have a lovely, straight smile. In fifty years, the woman with huge tits will have some knee-knockers and back problems. You’ve got to think about that end game, gentlemen.
Respect!
1. Kim Kardashian has some tig ol’ biddies that require a serious Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder. Keira Knightly could use Kim’s bra for a hammock!
2. The porn star with the sweetest tits inside her Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder is definitely Gianna Michaels. They look even better when she unleashes her krakens.
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