Onion booty is booty that looks so good it makes grown men want to cry. And grown women. And basically anyone who is into booty. And even those who aren’t that into booty.
The best onion booty is the kind that’s big and round and jiggles a bit when she walks. All dudes and bi-ladies will agree with that statement. No dude is into flat asses. Nobody is into flat asses. Nobody I’ve ever met, anyway.
Onion Booty also gets its name from the revealing nature of the booty. A great and powerful booty will reveal itself slowly to you, like the layers of the onion. You’ll notice how great it is at first, but the longer you’re around that booty, you will start appreciating its glory at deeper and deeper layers. One of my girlfriends had onion booty. I certainly noticed the hotness of her ass immediately. We were in a biology class together (ironic, I know), and I saw her get up from her table so she could grab paper towel to clean up some kind of dissection accident. Now it wasn’t just her ass that was fantastic, though it was juicy and delicious, but the way she moved it and shook it, without intending to, I’m sure. The way she walked, swayed, jiggled that ass to the front of the room and back. She was in a pair of bell bottomed jeans. Her ass was round and filled out her jeans perfectly. Damn.
The thing is, after we started dating my love for her ass only grew deeper as I was allowed to grab it (clothes on) and grab it (clothes off) and grab it (during fucking) over and over and over again. When she finally let me enter her asshole it was like finding the freaking Holy Grail. I practically came in her ass within seconds of entering her. I made sure to use plenty of lube so she was nice and slick and it turned out, to my delight, that she loves getting a good ass pounding. You wouldn’t think of it to look at her, but she’s really a nasty dirty girl with one big-ass booty. And so the worship of her booty continued.
We broke up after two years. Irreconcilable differences. But I always treasured that booty and told her so while we moved my stuff out of our shared apartment. When I arrived at my new bachelor pad, I wept. Not for her exactly. I mean, I’d miss her and everything, but it was time for us to part. But what if I never got to grab, slap, squeeze, look at, or fuck an ass like that again. I was a mess. To this day I still well up when I think about it.
1. If I had to choose between ghetto booty and onion booty…wait, why do I have to choose?
2. My mom has an onion booty. It’s really awkward. All my friends hit on her. Sometimes I stare at it.
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