Often confused with love, this is the feeling that a person where they believe that a particular woman or man is actually special. This is just an illusion; she or he is the same as the other three or so billion. “Go fuck ten other women” is the most commonly prescribed treatment for this “disease” (hence the “itis”), as it tends to show quite quickly how very alike people are. In other words, get over yourself and your obsession with that girl, because it’s just an illusion. And when you get rejected, don’t be depressed. Because there’s really not much to worry about. You will get rejected, everybody does. It’s just the reality of the dating world. You need to build up a nice thick skin about these things so that you can shield yourself from heartbreak. Obviously heartbreak will happen to everyone and it should happen to everyone. It’s one of those universal experiences. But you shouldn’t get heartbroken by every girl you date or every guy you’re into. You need to develop a sense of casualness around dating until it becomes more serious.
Oneitis is especially problematic when it comes to long-term relationships. In North America we tend to have love-based relationships and we have this ridiculous idea kicking around of ‘the one’. That there is one person out there who will complete us and make us feel whole and satisfied and happy and content all at once. That once we meet that person we won’t ever desire another human, that we’ll be fulfilled sexually and emotionally and mentally by that one person, hell we won’t even really need friends and family – haven’t they just been filler while we’re desperately searching for our ‘other half’. Vomit.
Here’s the thing, ‘the one’ is an incredibly dangerous concept and ‘oneitis’ is really no different. There are certainly lots of people out there that you will connect with and you will feel that this connection is special. And it is. You won’t connect with everyone on that same level. However, there is no one and when we’re desperately trying to find that one, we close the door on about a thousand awesome potential partners who would do a fabulous job of supporting us emotionally and satisfying us sexually – the only catch is that we would still have to work on our own happiness if we were with one of those thousand others. The secret that no one talks about is that if you found someone you thought was ‘the one’, you’d have to do all that self-work anyway. So why not hook up with someone you respect as a human instead of looking for this other worldly experience that never lives up to the expectations we place on it?
1. My best friend thinks her husband is the most amazing thing since IPhone 4S. I’ve known this guy for fifteen years and he’s a total loser, always playing WOW while my friend cooks dinner for the family. She’s got oneitis, bad.
2. Gary had oneitis. He could tell because every time he saw his girlfriend his balls started to itch.
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