Offshore drilling is a slang expression meaning that you’re having an adulterous affair while you’re out of the country. Often used by men and women who travel for business, offshore drilling is a great way to get a little on the side, and never have to worry about running into the person while you’re back in your home country with your partner.
It’s really foolproof. I remember back a few years ago I was in a monogamous (as far as she knew) relationship for about two years. During that time, I was doing some modeling, so I had to travel a lot to exotic locations to do the shoots. No matter where I was in the world, I’d always end up meeting and seducing some local piece of tail and fucking like crazy for a few days. I’d always give the sexy woman a fake name, so that even if she tried to Facebook search me after I left, she’d end up with a dead end.
Then I’d go back home to my girlfriend, who would fuck me like crazy because she was so horny from not getting any sex while I was away. That’s offshore drilling, and that’s why it’s amazing. If you get a piece of tail on the side in your hometown, or even in your home country, there’s the possibility of running into the person you fucked while you’re with your partner. Awkward. With offshore drilling and a fake name, you’re free and clear forever. Believe it.
Oh, I’m sure there’s some guy out there who fucked a woman in Chile, and then ran into her while he was out with his wife at their local Walmart. But it’s so rare, that it’s definitely worth the risk. Don’t get me wrong – you should definitely use condoms when you’re with your mistresses or boy toys. You might not have to worry about running into the person with offshore drilling, but you still have to worry about STDs.
There was one time I was doing a modeling shoot in the Bahamas. After we had wrapped, I went a local bar. As I relaxed, I started chatting up the gorgeous caramel skinned bartender. She was beautiful and built. Her name was Charlene, and she had just started working there that month. We hit it off, and I asked her if she’d have dinner with me after her shift. She agreed.
Long story short, she was a nineteen year old virgin that wanted to have sex with me at the end of the night. No condom required because I knew she was STD free! I told her I had a vasectomy, and she believed it! A great night for both of us. I told her my name was Harry Muffman. Ha! I wonder if I got her pregnant…
1. Harry Muffman gave Charlene some tender offshore drilling until she came all over his fat hog.
2. After the tender offshore drilling, Harry gave it to her hard. Charlene came again and again.
RELATED TERMS: