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An Oedipus Complex is a condition in which a child considers his father as competition for the love of his mother. I know a lot of you out there are thinking, “Gross. Wanting to fuck your mom is not cool.” And for most of us, that’s true.
But what if Pamela Anderson was your mom? Or Angelina Jolie? Or Jessica Alba? You’d breast-feed until you were 24, and you’d love it. What if porn goddess Angel Dark was your mom? She’s got a kid. So, you’re little “Timmy” Dark, and you hit puberty around age 13. Angel Dark is your mom. You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to hit that? I sure as hell would. I’d claim to have a shitload of nightmares so she’d let me sleep with her in her bed. “Accidentally” brush my hands against her boobs and butt all night.
I’d claim that my giant boner was just morning wood. “Mistakenly” walk in on her showering. Sniff her panties while she’s out filming porn. God, I wouldn’t even have to imagine what it would be like to fuck her or see her naked – just boot up some of her clips on my laptop.
God I wish Angel Dark was my mom.
Sigmund Freud was the psychologist who first proposed the Oedipal Complex. Not surprisingly, he had strong sexual feelings towards his mom. Apparently, she had a killer ass.
The problem, in a nutshell, is that there are more MILFs these days than any time in history. All these moms going to the gym and doing yoga and looking good into their 40’s. What’s a guy supposed to do?
I realized I did not have an Oedipal Complex the day I walked in on my mom and dad having sex together in their bedroom. I was just going to ask if I could borrow the car, and opened the door to see my mom riding my dad in reverse cowgirl position. It was not a pretty picture. It didn’t help that dad’s face was beet red and he was huffing and panting like he was about to have a heart attack.
She’s all yours, dad. Enjoy. Yeesh.
The female equivalent is called the Electra Complex, and involves sexual feelings that a daughter has for her father. This could be very uncomfortable for the man, especially if his daughter is hot. Ever read “Lolita”? Sexy stuff. Plus, it’s always so hot when a woman calls a man “Daddy” in bed. “Give it to me, Daddy!” is one of my favorites to hear, when I’m really delivering the goods.
The best way to deal with an Oedipus Complex is to get yourself a girlfriend that looks just like your mom. Then, you can have as much sexual desire as you want, and you won’t be doing anything wrong. Fuck her brains out!
1. Paul’s mom was by far the hottest MILF in the neighborhood. It didn’t surprise anyone when Paul admitted to having a strong Oedipus Complex.
2. I’d rather have an Oedipus Complex than herpes simplex.
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