Obscene phone calling is when a person calls another person and uses sexual language to derive sexual pleasure. It’s not as popular in this day and age, what with the caller ID every phone comes with. However, before about ten years ago, it was all over the place. Did it myself on more that a few occasions, and it was always a hit.
The obscene phone call is different than the prank phone call in a couple ways. First of all, the prank phone call is all about humor. The obscene phone call is all about sex. Not that the two are mutually exclusive, but you know what I mean. Second, a prank phone call is harmless fun, while an obscene phone call is a crime in some places. The law, apparently, sees obscene phone calls as a form of sexual harassment and/or stalking. Just another example of the man trying to keep us down.
Obscene phone calls are actually considered a paraphilia (a sexual proclivity that can be unhealthy for the practitioner). It’s called “telephone scatologia” (but does not involve any pooping, despite the “scat” prefix). It is seen as exhibitionism on the part of the caller, just like streaking, or flashing, or mooning, or public sex. Personally, I like obscene phone calls because I can do it from the comfort of my bed. Streaking means I have to leave the house. No thanks.
The best cinematic representation of an obscene phone caller is Philip Seymour Hoffman’s portrayal in the movie “Happiness”. Don’t let the title of the film fool you – it’s meant ironically. Hoffman’s character just dials random numbers and talks dirtier and dirtier to the women that answer until they hang up. Usually he’s able to masturbate and orgasm before they do hang up, so it’s quite an effective system he’s got.
The trick he uses is to not get too vulgar too fast. You just act vague and slightly sexual at first, piquing the woman’s curiosity enough to make her stay on the line. Then, when you feel the orgasm building, you turn up the vulgarity. Even if she hangs up at that point, the sled is already on its way down the hill, if you know what I mean.
I once gave a sexy girl in my college an obscene phone call. Unfortunately I made the rookie mistake of calling from my home phone. She star sixty-nined my ass. I answered and she started yelling at me. I calmed her down and explained that I had a big crush on her, and that I was shy and didn’t know how to approach such a lovely girl. She bought it. We ended up dating for about a month. Popped her anal cherry. Good times.
1. Barry loved obscene phone calling his female colleagues. He disguised his voice and made them all really hate answering their home phones. It almost made up for all the promotions he got passed over for.
2. Obscene phone calling is great when you’re bored.
RELATED TERMS: