Performing The Nixon occurs when you’re fucking someone doggy style. You lift both hands into the air just like Nixon did as he was getting on the jet after his resignation, and wave two “peace signs” with your fingers. It’s a variation of “The Bullwinkle” in which you give yourself pretend antlers with your hands as your signal of dominance during doggy style action. The Nixon can be enhanced by shaking your jowls and yelling, “I’m not a crook”. This move is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.
I have no such modicum. Do you? Didn’t think so. Let’s investigate further.
Richard Nixon’s nickname after the Watergate scandal became “Tricky Dick”. Similarly, you need to have a tricky dick if you’re going to perform The Nixon. Most ladies would feel that you are disrespecting them if you start acting like Richard Nixon while you’re going balls-deep doggy style. If they look back and you’re wiggling your peace signs and shaking your jowels, they could become upset and stop the sex. You don’t want that.
That’s where the trickiness of the dick comes into play. There are some precautions you can take to ensure that The Nixon doesn’t end up getting you into trouble. First, lighting is key. If you’re in a dark room, even if she turns around and looks, she won’t see shit. In the same way, doing it to a woman with poor eyesight has obvious benefits. If she turns around and squints at you doing The Nixon, you can easily lie and say you were swatting away a fly or something that had flown into the bedroom. Blind bitch won’t know you’re fibbing.
Second, timing. There are times when a woman will simply be unable to turn around to see you giving her The Nixon. If you’re giving her your full thrust power-fuck in doggy style position, she’ll just be holding on for dear life. It’d be almost impossible for her to turn around and catch you. While she’s having an orgasm is another perfect time. After all, her eyes are going to be rolling back in her head, so focusing on you behind her won’t happen.
The ultimate Nixon would be performed while having sex with a Chinese person. Nixon was the first President to ever visit China, and open up an international dialogue with them. For historical points, you can give The Nixon to a Chinese lady, opening up more than a dialogue! You’re going to open up those holes of hers.
If you are caught giving The Nixon, and your lady forgives you, then you will have been given The Nixon Pardon, which is the ultimate sexual move for all you history buffs out there.
1. J.F. Kennedy gave Marilyn Monroe The Nixon while he was visiting her in Hollywood. She never knew what he was doing back there, making it hilarious.
2. Rita gave her husband a gender-bending Nixon while pegging his asshole with a strap-on.
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