Nyctophilia is sexual arousal from darkness or night. If you have this fetish, and you haven’t moved to the arctic so that you could take advantage of the 6-months of darkness, then let me ask you one simple question: What are you, stupid or something?
You should also move there if you are a vampire. Fuck the coffin, baby. You’re worry-free for six straight months! I know Inuit chicks aren’t the hottest babes you could seduce, and Eskimo blood probably has an aftertaste like blubber, but not having to worry about the sun for a half year would be sweet.
Back to nyctophilia. It’s prefix “nyct” is from the Greek, meaning “night”. And you can bet those Greeks liked the night life. All that ass fucking and the toga parties and the orgies? They knew what it was all about. Well done, ancient Greeks. Too bad your country owes a zillion dollars to everyone today. Bit of a downturn for your culture. Get it back, babies. Get back on top again.
I can see how the night and darkness can turn somebody on. It’s mysterious and unknown in the dark. That excitement can turn sexual in a heartbeat. I remember once I was walking home with an ex-girlfriend and some asswipe jumps out of an alleyway to mug us. All he had was a knife, but it was still jarring. Luckily for my ex, one of us was a karate blackbelt. So, she kicked the mugger in the head and knocked him out cold. Suffice to say, we were both kind of exhilarated and turned-on by the whole thing so we went home and channeled that excitement into some vigorous fuck times.
A lot of people have nyctophilia because when they were young, it was alone in the dark that they first started to experiment with masturbation. After that, darkness reminds them of triggers that get them erect or moist, and orgasmic. I know it’s hard for me to be in a dark room and not get the urge to start masturbating. That’s why I’m not allowed in the confessional at my family’s church anymore. Ironic that they can’t forgive me for desecrating the room that they forgive people in?
Yes. Definitely ironic.
Personally, I find the darkness kind of a hindrance to sexual excitement. I’ve been in too many dimly lit or candle lit bars and been fooled by the appearance of a slut. You think she’s good looking because you can’t really see her in that darkness. You get her home, and turn on the lights, and boom. She’s not attractive at all. It’s not like you were going to call her after the fuck and chuck anyway, but now you have to limit the sex to doggy style or reverse cowgirl if you’re going to keep it up for her.
Not a tragedy, but definitely a bummer.
1. Ray Charles had Nyctophilia, which is why he always had an erection under that piano.
2. Insomniacs could benefit from nyctophilia.
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