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New York Style Taco – Anytime you are so drunk that when you go down on a woman, you vomit on her vagina. You puke on her puss-puss. You hurl on her hole. You up chuck where you fuck. You boot on her box. We’ve all been there.
Only a real man eats the taco after you’ve made it New York Style, a real gross man.
I remember the first time I served up a New York Style Taco. I had been drinking from bar to bar one afternoon, just looking for a good time. I walked into a joint and sat down at the bar, pretty drunk as it was. Sitting across from me, about three feet away, was a gorgeous MILF that looked really sad. After buying us both some tequila shots, she told me that her name was Agnes, and she was upset because she had caught her husband cheating on her.
I saw an opportunity.
I told her that she should have sex with me. No strings attached. We’d use a condom. She’d feel better, she’d have her revenge, and we’d have a fun afternoon together. She ordered another half-dozen shots for us, and agreed. By the time we got back to my apartment, I was blind drunk and stumbling over furniture. Still, I don’t need to be able to see straight to eat pussy.
I laid her down on my bed and pulled off her jeans and panties. I kneeled down and started licking. Unfortunately, I caught a whiff of her asshole and her pussy together, and I started to hurl. The first blast went into her pubes. I stood up and fell into the bathroom, where I proceeded to puke in the bathtub for the next ten minutes. I couldn’t make it to the toilet. So, there I was, vomiting into my bathtub while Agnes washed her pussy off in the sink.
I heard her gag behind me, and when I looked up I saw that she was watching my Doberman eating the vomit on the floor between my bed and the bathroom. “NO! Get outta there Fluffy!” I shouted. He didn’t listen and went back to eating the puke. This made Agnes and me both puke into our respective porcelain.
Not my finest moment.
She left and I never saw her again.
If you’re reading this Agnes, I’d still like to help you out with some sex. I don’t do tequila shots anymore. But I am somewhat addicted to hard apple cider. I drink ten king-cans a day. Call me!
Where was I? Oh yeah – the New York Style Taco.
There are a few problems with the New York Style Taco. First, the laundry. As soon as vomit hits the sheets, you’ve just roped yourself into laundry chores the next day. Second, the smell. Light some incense and open the windows. Share with the neighbors.
1. Harry had a New York Style Taco with Lisa last night. Kinky fuckers were into it!
2. Tom Petty’s “Free Falling” is a metaphor for a New York Style Taco he saw in a porn video in the early eighties.
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