NBR (No Beers Required) refers to someone that you’d like to fuck even if you haven’t had any alcohol. You could be stone-cold sober, and you’d still think they’re hot enough to fuck. An NBR is the opposite of women that are referred to as “ten pinters”, who are ladies that you need to be blind-drunk in order to fuck. And god bless them, every one!
To be honest, NBR women are pretty rare. Hot women can still be pretty annoying. I’ve been with sexy ladies that turned me on without the alcohol, but I still needed a half-dozen beers so that I could stand to converse with them. They were vapid, or mean, or moronic, or racist, or shrill. Six beers later, and I can relate to anybody.
NBR women have the following qualities:
- at least an 8/10 butt
- at least a 7/10 face
- at least a full B-Cup
- 90% of her original adult teeth still intact
- Pierced clit and/or lower back tattoo
I know what all you flat-chested ladies are thinking: “What, are you saying that there isn’t one A-Cup NBR woman out there? What about Kate Moss or Paris Hilton or Keira Knightly?”
Yeah, I’d need some drinks before I’d fuck any of those girls. They’re kind of good looking, but they’re not NBR. And god knows they’d need some jagerbombs before they’d open their legs to me. Fair’s fair.
We can’t all be Brad Pitt.
Fuck you, Brad Pitt.
It must be so great when someone finds a NBR woman and the relationship works. Do you how much money the average man would save by not having to get drunk every time he has sex with his woman? Over a lifetime?! Millions. You could plug all that saved money into hiring high-class whores to come over and have threesomes with you and your lady. Now there’s a life that’s worth remembering when it’s time to die.
Think about that.
What we’re really talking about here are beer goggles. You drink, your sexual discretion goes out the window, and you have no filter when choosing a sexual partner for the night. That’s why I think that more women should drink more beer, and hang out with me. After six or seven Heinekens, I look pretty damned good. Add a few tequila shots for good measure, and I’m in like Flynn. The trick is to enjoy the time between that last shot of tequila, and when you both start throwing up from the beer and tequila.
Those are the magic moments.
Don’t drink and drive!
1. The top seven NBR celebrities as of the writing of this list are (in no particular order): Selena Gomez. Scarlett Johansson, Emma Watson, Beyonce, Katy Perry, January Jones, Megan Fox. I’d enjoy meeting and touching them all.
2. The maid of honor at my brothers wedding was a NBR blonde with huge real tits. Since I was the best man, she had to fuck me.
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