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Monogamous is a term that really has no meaning at all today. Sure, technically it means committing to just one sexual partner for the remainder of your life, or for the duration of that particular relationship. But really, who actually follows that anymore besides the elderly, and even they stop believing in monogamy once they get put into a retirement home. Those places are like burlesque houses; whichever man can still get a healthy erection pretty much gets laid any time he wants.
There’s an old monogamy related joke, where a Muslim, a Christian, and an Atheist are all having a drink at a bar, discussing marriage. The Muslim is trying to explain the idea of polygamy (having multiple wives or husbands), but the Christian is having difficulty understanding the concept. Finally, the Christian clues in, and says, “Oh! So it’s basically when you have one too many wives?” to which the Atheist responded, “No, that’s monogamy.”
In all seriousness though, Monogamy does still exist for some couples, but for the most part, it’s a lot like the missionary position. A few people still do it, but most of us have realized that life, and sex, are a lot more fun without it.
1. When my girlfriend asked me if I was being monogamous or not, I didn’t want to lie about the other girls I’d been sleeping with, so I told her I was Mormon. Her next question, of course, was why I still jerked off.
2. If you’re going to be monogamous, just make sure your partner is too. It saves a lot of headaches.
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