Menopause is the time in a woman’s life in her 40′s or 50′s when she stops getting her period and finishes her child-bearing years. If you’re into MILFs, this is the sweetest time of a woman’s life for you because it means no more condoms or birth control. Apparently you can cause an early menopause by smoking cigarettes. That’s why I’ve got my twenty year-old girlfriend on a three-pack-a-day habit. I’m hoping to get her menopause to kick in before she’s 25.
In fact, while most women hit their menopause at around 51 years of age, in the Philippines, the average age of menopause is 44. That’s almost ten extra years of condom-free fucking. Mail-order bride from the Philippines, here you come!
Effects that menopause can have on a woman can include a lack of energy, hot flashes, depression, and vaginal dryness. Let’s see, a lack of energy I wouldn’t mind, since I love being the sex partner doing all the work anyway. Hot flashes would be sweet since you could keep the heat low in the house and save on energy costs. Depression wouldn’t be an issue because of I’d keep her on a steady dosage of happy pills from her doctor. I would probably help myself to those pills too, when I spend the night out at the club.
The only real problem I see there is the vaginal dryness. However, with all the money she’d be saving on her heating bills, thanks to the hot flashes, you could plug all those extra dollars into sex lubes. You could get the expensive kinds that heat up and taste like cherries and glow and whatever. Good times.
Ha! I just read that one of the symptoms after a woman goes into menopause is something called “formication”. It’s when you have pins and needles feelings under your skin. I thought it said “fornication” at first, and I was all like, AWESOME! Not that all MILFs are hot and would look great fornicating – you have to be choosey. Do not go near the fearful creature known as Menopauzilla. She and her hormonally imbalanced lunacy will destroy everything in its path!
Evolutionists argue that menopause was developed over human history so that an older woman would stop having babies of her own, and continue caring for her grandchildren. This would increase the likelihood of their grandchildren making it to adulthood, due to the extra care and feeding from the grandmother. My grandmother definitely helped to raise me as a kid, and kept me in a steady supply of homemade cookies. My mother didn’t appreciate it because I would go home soaring on a giant sugar high.
Miss ya, Grandma!
1. When Rita hit menopause she was glad. Her husband was religious and didn’t believe in birth control, resulting in ten kids. Eighteen years later, Rita finally had the house to herself.
2. When Uhura hit menopause she started fucking Scotty without a condom.
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