Marriage is that weird institution that two people enter, usually naively, under the guise of sharing a life together. It is also an institution that people are constantly fighting for ‘the sanctity of’ (and by people I mean right wing religious nut bags), whatever the fuck that even means. There’s nothing sacred about marriage, really. Not in my opinion. Oh, and in case you were curious, it’s the number one cause of divorce.
The thing that most people don’t realize about marriage is that it’s hard work and it has a lot less to do with love or lust or any of the feelings you have about the other person. Those feelings play a crucial part obviously, because they drew you to that person in the first place. But a successful marriage really has a lot to do with how hard you’re willing to work emotionally and how often you’re willing to set aside your ego and let certain things go. It’s about how well you can compromise with your partner without totally neglecting your most important values. It’s how well you can negotiate a life together. It’s how well you can grow together and how adaptable you are to change and to the circumstances and situations and experiences that life throws at you. It’s how often you’re willing to say ‘I’m sorry’ even when there’s no guarantee that you will hear that in return.
It’s also about choosing the right partner for you. Which is why it’s really crucial to get to know the person you would like to marry. Because maybe you think you know them after a few months of dating and maybe you feel like you want to spend your life with them, but fifty or sixty years is a much different in reality than in fantasy. And you can’t rush getting to know a person. Just because you feel like you’ve known them your whole life after a few months, doesn’t mean you actual do. That’s why it’s so important to be patient and not to rush into anything no matter how strongly you feel about the other person. When you first get together with someone, and often for the first couple of years even, you’re presenting your best self to that person. Let yourself fight and argue and see each other at your worst and not just once, but a few times. Get to know the issues your partner struggles with and ask yourself if you can live with those parts of him/her. That’s the real test.
Also, we need to legalize gay marriage everywhere.
Also, people need to work on their sex lives throughout their marriage and commit to resolving sexual issues. Seriously.
And finally, people need to understand that marriage is constantly evolving. We need to allow it to evolve.
1. Marriage is what shouldn’t end your sex life but often does.
2. I would be okay with marriage as an institution if people weren’t such dick fucking cock gobblers about it.
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